Lanarkshire towns feature prominently in an online guide dedicated to the worst places to live in Scotland.
The website, iLiveHere.co.uk offers current and former residents the opportunity to have their say on the places they’ve lived in and has compiled listings on where the least desirable towns in the country are, and why.
Although some of the reports seem to be quite dated they make for grim reading for a number of Lanarkshire towns.
Wishaw features twice and earned the title of; A Psycho’s Paradise with f*** all to do!
The latest report writer claims the most exciting part of a day out in the North Lanarkshire town that is famous for “nothing” is “the possibility of witnessing a fight or someone getting abused".
It lists the town’s main attraction as Tesco and adds that despite the council’s best efforts to brighten the place up it usually only results in roadworks and traffic congestion.
Residents also get a rough deal from the writer who claims they are “rude”, “idiotic” and don’t need much antagonising to indulge in a “square go".
Wishaw’s green spaces aren’t cut any slack either. Belhaven Park is noted as “constantly populated with teens who drink alcohol like it’s water and think that they are Muhammad Ali”. The reviewer also claims all the fish had to be removed from Perchy Pond because it was “too dirty and filled with debris”, and added there are “several patches of burnt grass there for no real reason.”
Summing up the writer warns readers “don’t move here, don’t even come here".
An earlier report on Wishaw labels it a “s*** hole”. It’s unclear if the author is the same person, but they claim if you live in the town and think the grass is greener elsewhere then you’re “spot on”. Adding there are nice people in the town, just not many!
Neighbouring Motherwell also earned the somewhat less than salubrious title of; What a s*** hole!.
The writer, a former resident of the town, claims Strathclyde Park is full of tramps, used needles and empty tonic wine bottles. The individual also labels Scotland’s theme park sited there as a “Mecca to the pram pushing *********, all looking for the father of their offspring (as most of them were conceived in the adjacent car park).”
There seems to be some confusion distinguishing between the Monklands towns of Coatbridge and Airdrie on the website.
Coatbridge features in the headline but according to the reviewer, Airdrie has the unenviable position of being full of “knuckle draggers” who parade around in “little groups of terrorists”.
They also add: “They seem to be fearless in numbers. They also seem to have a fascination with fire and the destruction of private property".
Cumbernauld, a two-time winner of the Plook on the Plinth award for most dismal town in Scotland is also amongst the reviews and is likened to a “Siberian Mining Experiment”.
The writer states that tunnels and underpasses were hugely popular with the new town’s planners.
They claim that the drinking of tonic wine in the town has “taken on a spiritual role transcending anything offered by church or state".
Summing up they claim Cumbernauld “deserves its spot on the pantheon of Chavdom and anywhere that even Irvine Welsh describes as ‘scary’ must be worthy of such an accolade".
The site also features a report on Kilsyth, which is described as being full of nosey people.
The town is split into two distinctive sections the “tap end” and the “bottom end”, with the former being handy if you’re in need of a heroin fix, or a decent view of the whole town while in the prone position from the Rennie Road, which is known locally as the “ra-ra”.
As an enticing note to would-be visitors they add: “So come and visit our town and see the wonders for yourself.”
East Kilbride in South Lanarkshire is proclaimed as “A slice of hell cut off from civilisation”.
That particular writer claims adventure lovers will enjoy a visit for “the adrenaline which comes from walking the streets after 9pm”.
And sums up by saying that East Kilbride is fine to visit...“but avoid living here unless you are desperate".
The village of Blantyre is also featured. The recommendation is to avoid the birthplace of explorer David Livingstone but if you do for any reason find yourself there, “keep as close to the maximum speed limit as possible and just focus on getting out the other side”.
Check out the full reports at: iLiveHere.co.uk
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