The former Labour adviser Richard Heller did the decent thing by Team Corbyn this week by sparing it accusations of plagiarism over his contribution to Tuesday’s leader’s speech. But it stirred memories of the circumstances in which Heller was fired as Gerald Kaufman’s researcher on Neil Kinnock’s orders in 1987. His crime? To write a reckless article criticising Labour’s Corbyn-esque defence policy at a time when Kaufman was tasked with trying to paper over the nuclear cracks. Which makes Heller’s generosity even more impressive.
• The defeated leadership candidate Andy Burnham popped up on the conference rostrum on Wednesday in his new role as Corbynite shadow home secretary. Given the reputation for tactical zigzags he acquired this summer, it prompted ribald comment (“which football team do you support now, Andy?” etc) in the press room. Burnham remains a loyal Everton man. But he was also sporting a smart new haircut, identified by fashionistas as the “undercut”. It is currently worn by Justin Timberlake and David Beckham, who has played for many teams, but not yet Team Corbyn.
• Party apparatchiks were thrilled to see traditional Blairite war cries at the annual Labour student disco (DJed by Stella Creasy MP) replaced this September by chants of “Jeremy, Jeremy” coming from the fickle young. Next door at the Mirror party, where one enthusiast had to be restrained by the police, the Old Guard was still playing D:Ream. “Middle-aged saddos on the dancefloor,” reports a biased but reliable source.
Intense thinking about the playlist from @stellacreasy pic.twitter.com/gz2xAGu2td
— Alvin Shum (@shumakb) September 30, 2015
Alright we are starting with taylor swift and we are NOT sorry #LAB15
— stellacreasy (@stellacreasy) September 29, 2015
• John McDonnell’s charm offensive knows few limits. Offering activists a glimpse of his private life in the London suburbs, he told the Guardian’s fringe meeting that his wife of 20 years had declared “we must do something together” as a couple. They decided to learn to sail and eventually acquired a Skipper 17 on the Norfolk Broads. The other sailors (“we’re crap”) dive for safety when the SS Shadow Chancellor comes over the horizon. The problem? Being on the tiller does not amount to captaincy. “We steer by committee,” he said. Jez, you have been warned.
• There is no better way to win the sympathy of a Labour conference crowd than to march to the rostrum and say: “I’m a first-time speaker.” In the wholesome new atmosphere, party officials report that even union leaders, not known for their lack of ego, have been happy to see youngsters called to speak instead of them. Untypical was the union delegate who cried: “Call me, I’m 75, I won’t last much longer.”
• Wednesday’s final session staged a debate in support of embattled Colombian trades unionists. Solidarity at one Brighton conference party went much further when a plastic bag full of what looked like Colombian marching powder fell from a dancer’s pocket and spilled. It was hastily swept up. As this week’s slogan goes: “What would Keir Hardie Say?”
