Man of the week
Hal Robson-Kanu: “on cloud nine” after vanishing three Belgians and slotting home the goal of the tournament for Wales. “I presume the defenders thought I was going to lay it off – but I’ve Cruyffed and just stuck it in the net.”
Best entertainer
Joe Ledley: stepping up to fill the tournament’s cult hero vacancy after Will Grigg went home with another viral dressing-room dance hit. Among his headlines in the French press: “La drôle de danse du Gallois” and “Ledley a (encore) enflammé le vestiaire”.
Pundit of the week
Steve McClaren: delivering TV’s moment of the year with his live Sky in-play analysis of England’s response to Iceland’s equaliser: “It’s been the perfect response. You just think: ‘No problem, start again, keep dominating, keep getting pressure on the Iceland back four’ – the only thing that they have got is the big boy up front Sigurdsson, who really … Sigthorsson … Oh, ohhh …”
Rough week for
• Roy Hodgson: seen spotting himself on the big screen as England trailed and realising now would be a good time to look like he had a plan.
• Gary Neville: sacked by Valencia on 30 March, then out of an England job on 27 June – hours after reportedly boarding the Iceland team bus by mistake outside the ground. His pre-tournament message on the buildup: “Roy can be proud of an excellent piece of work.”
• And FA chief executive Martin Glenn, lining up a rugby coach, a cycling coach and “leading figures from business” to advise him on finding Hodgson’s replacement – days after telling the press: “I’m no football expert.”
Also feeling sore
Ad schedulers - Head & Shoulders booking their Joe Hart advert to run at half-time of the Iceland defeat, and Nike execs running theirs at full-time. Among the lines in Nike’s “Joe Hart Pro Genius Self-Talk” ad: “I can stop anything, I will dominate my area. The only person who can beat me is me.”
Most got at
Innocent Twitter bystander @JoeHart (biog: “Comedian, designer, code monkey, writer, notorious dandy”) – getting it in the neck from England fans. He clarified: “I’m a chubby gay comedian but if the goalkeeper is looking for a replacement I’ll give it a go.”
• Also clearing up confusion: @IcelandFoods: “Everyone should be passing on their congratulations to @footballiceland. They are the football team. We are the UK frozen food specialists.”
Ministry of the week
The Ministry for Foreign Affairs of Iceland, @MFAIceland – going viral with their guide explaining how their 23-man squad chose itself, whittling down a total of 332,529 citizens by subtracting groups including: “Women, 165,259; Men over 35: 82,313; Men under 18: 40,546; Busy in the whale sightseeing industry: 1,246; Busy in volcano surveillance: 164; Working in hospitals, police and fire brigade: 564; Sick: 7,564; Fans in the stadium: 8,781; Team massage therapist and water carrier: 2; Rest: 23. The coach is Swedish.”
Worst judgment
Uefa officials – refusing to hold a minute’s silence before the quarter-finals in memory of victims of the terrorist attack in Turkey because Turkey went out in the group stage. Uefa ruled that they are only for events “related to football directly, or to one of the participating teams or the host country”, and ordered “a moment of applause” instead.
Coach of the week
Italy’s Antonio Conte – sticking to the spirit of last month’s touchline pledge to his squad: “I’ll kill you, I’ll kill you”. Mattia De Sciglio told Italian press: “He doesn’t let us give a single centimetre. Of course we hear his screams. It gives us competitive nastiness.”
Most on message
Brand conscious Cristiano Ronaldo: appearing to spit a fully formed official Euro 2016 graphic at the screen during Portugal’s quarter-final.
Not just a skilful player, Ronaldo can also gob out a replay wipe #POLPOR pic.twitter.com/UC44YRv5TA
— Ian Finch (@FinchIan) June 30, 2016
Most awkward chat
Arsène Wenger – mistaking Croatia’s team doctor for the soon-to-be-installed new PSG manager Unai Emery. Doctor Tomaslav Madzar said: “Wenger shook my hand and congratulated me on the Europa League win with Sevilla. Then he asked me if I’d reached an agreement with PSG.”
And the worst use of lager
Wales fans – watching the drama unfold.
Wales fans tonight https://t.co/rgaLZAJHSq
— Limbs AOTS (@Limbs_AOTS) July 1, 2016
