I’ve long harboured a suspicion that stars who do loads of Christmas stuff can’t be bothered with it all when they get home. December 25 rolls around and they’re too knackered to even sprinkle some salt on a roast potato. Would they even know how?
Kylie Minogue has just turned on the Christmas lights at Battersea Power Station, is about to launch a 10-year anniversary version of her Christmas classics album, with four new seasonal songs, and will perform at the Jingle Bell Ball in London. In fact she’s been a festive fixture for so long that I have to ask: has she ever actually cooked a turkey?
“I’ve never cooked a turkey,” she admits, quietly, “though I have roasted other things. But, ha, erm, I’m not a natural. It’s not my natural habitat, no.”
She will be spending Christmas this year with her whole family back home in Melbourne, Australia, “and my brother and sister are very…” she pauses… “you know.” Another pause. “They are very… present in the kitchen.”
Speaking as someone whose relatives are also very… present in the kitchen at Christmas, I know exactly what she means, and neither of us have used the word controlling, so that’s good.
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“I’m there, I’m sous chef and I’m available for anything that needs doing,” Kylie continues, “but everyone’s families are like that, aren’t they? You know your place, don’t rock the system, don’t rock the boat. We all just want to get through Christmas!
“And then I think we’re secretly all — or not even so secretly — just excited about Boxing Day. That’s when the relief kicks in. I mean we can literally string a leftover ham out for God knows how many days. But there are so many stages to Christmas, and I’d rather put my hand up for the wrapping.” Now you’re talking — does she do those tight hospital corners like chambermaids with the sheets but with the paper?
“I mean… I start well with the paper,” she says, recovering from her slight bemusement at my mention of beds. “But then I start doodling on it, and drawing. So there’s doodlings and there’s drawings and the outside becomes as important to me as what’s inside. Then when my nephew Ethan goes to open one, for example, he’ll roll his eyes and go, ‘Oh, this one is definitely from Kick.’”
Kick? “They call me Kick.” Amazing. So you don’t need to put a gift tag on it and write love from Auntie Kylie — I mean Auntie Kick? They know it’s you? “Yeah, no need — it’s pretty obvious that it’s from me.” She laughs. “And that I get more pleasure out of it than they do.”
Her gift of choice for the adults is, naturally, her own brand of wine, “an easy Christmas option for me”, she admits. With it being summer in Australia, “I think I’ll be on the rosé,” she says, although it might not be the alcoholic one, “because the zero per cent, for sure, is a total winner. But the Petit Rosé is seven per cent so that’s a nice light option too. My family and friends all have different favourites, so that’s on my to-do list, getting their different ones.”
No wonder she has to get creative with the wrapping paper — all those bottles. All that glass.
A few years ago, after more than two decades in London, Kylie moved home to Melbourne. The pandemic had made her realise it was time to be closer to her family, and despite the kitchen jokes, she mentions their support constantly and speaks about them glowingly, particularly her nephews. Her brother has two sons and her sister has one, which gives her enough children to watch Christmas movies with. Any favourites? “Oh, we have Elfed together. We have elved.”
London never stops calling to her though — when she turned on the Christmas lights at Battersea Power Station this month, she went up in the lift there for the first time, “and it was honestly gorgeous. Gorgeous. The sunset — it took my breath away.
“I first came to London in 1988 and didn’t know that it would become such a huge part of my life”
“When I lived in London I lived in Chelsea so I could see that building all the time from across the river, but no one knew what its fate was. So that was my first visit to it and it was kind of an emotional day for me. Looking over the city and getting that view of London, I thought wow, I spent so much time here. And there’s the Royal Albert Hall, and there’s the London Eye. It was all just kind of there, twinkling — yeah that was a real highlight for me.”
But maybe bittersweet? “A tiny bit — I think that’s why it was so emotional. I first came to London in 1988 and didn’t know that it would become such a huge part of my life. It wasn’t a sad feeling, looking out at it all, it was just — well, it was a lot.”
She’s certainly not overly sentimental about it, though. “I always felt Australia was my heart home and everywhere else was my work home. It feels good to be — I mean all my family is back there, so it’s been good. But I’m talking to you from Morocco, I was just in London and I’ll be back in London next week. So really all that’s changed in my life is where my things are.” Her Morocco trip is with her nephew, who she took away for a quick break in between her London events.
Speaking of her things — if you want to own some Kylie merch, she also has her own special pop-up shop launching at Battersea Power Station from December 5 to 7. She had a peek at it the other day, when she was running around there doing the lights ceremony in a tight red latex dress.
She is, it has to be said, fabulous at 57 — but was it comfortable? “I mean, it was quite a workout by the end of it, but yeah latex is surprisingly comfortable if it’s made well to fit you. Honestly, I could do my Ted Talk on this,” she laughs.
Reworking her Christmas album also gave her a moment of reflection. “I just thought to myself, my God, it’s been 10 years — where did the time go? What’s happened in that 10 years? It was a strange feeling, but a nice chance to reflect. And to make the record with people I truly adore spending time with.”
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She might not be an outwardly political person, but Kylie’s sunny personality doesn’t protect her from what’s going on globally. She travels the world, she speaks to people, she goes online, she doesn’t live in a bubble. So when I ask about her feelings on the state of the world, she replies, “You see, that’s probably one of the reasons I was so happy to run into the studio and work on a Christmas album.”
Because it’s an escape from it all? “It’s an escape. It’s a challenge. It’s a puzzle. You’ve got your own puzzle to solve and it’s something you have a chance of achieving, compared with the world. Because the bigger problems and the bigger questions are overwhelming — for everyone.”
Does she have any belief systems that help with this? “No, I’m afraid I don’t. Just the old-fashioned things that I think help get me through navigating modern life. Do unto others, I suppose. Just the basics.” She thinks about this. “I do find I’m going backwards to go forwards, though,” she adds, intriguingly.
How so? “I mean with tried-and-tested things that work, like human connection, or let’s try to take a break. I’ve been going so fast this year that I’m trying to take heed of the things that have always worked in the past.” She apologises, “I’m not making much sense,” but I think she is getting at a sense of putting being a hard worker before being a person.
Kylie Minogue by numbers
1968 born in Melbourne, Australia
231 award wins across her career, including acting and music
80m records sold worldwide, making her the highest selling female Australian recording artist of all time
8.16bn streams to her name, with Can’t Get You Out of My Head being most listened to
2.4bn people watched her performance at the closing ceremony of the 2000 Sydney Olympics
4 wax figures at Madame Tussauds — only the Queen has had more
“You know, bottom line is, my inbox is always full, and where do I find the thing — was it on a text, is it in WhatsApp, is it in emails, was it an Airdrop? Like, navigating all of that. I think just turning everything off for a minute — maybe that’s the answer.”
Are you good at switching it all off though or are you still scrolling in bed like me? “Umm,” she mutters quietly. “I could definitely do with improvement.”
One moment of joyful connection came when working on the song Office Party with her collaborators though — they had so much fun that the song almost became too rude for human consumption. She is giggling when she thinks about it. “There were a whole lot of lyrics that didn’t make the song. As you can only imagine… heh.”
You mean we could have had Kylie’s full, unedited thoughts on the merits of photocopying one’s body parts after a few too many Babychams?
“All the photocopying, ha!” she laughs. “After we recorded it and sent it over I kept thinking there’s definitely going to be something in the inbox from the label saying, ‘Yeah, we liked the song but… is that a joke? Can we lose the ending?’ But no one said anything!” (You’ll have to play it to find out what made it through.)
I tell her that Hot in December had me up and dancing around the kitchen the second time I played it — it’s quite sexy. “Oh great! Yeah, it’s a pop song disguised as a Christmas song. I mean it’s uber pop.”
As for This Time of Year, it’s a loving song but with a sad tune that you could instantly imagine on the soundtrack of a rom-com. Three quarters of the way through, when you know those two lovers should be together and yet all hope appears lost. “I was just trying to find the balance of being emotional but not a wreck. Hopeful and loving. So if it made it into a rom-com, wow, I… I don’t know what I’d do, I’d be so excited. But you’ve hit the nail on the head, that’s where it feels like it should go.”
Christmas is, of course, a romantic time — in theory. In reality, it can be absolutely awful, so again, I have to know: has Kylie Minogue had any weird or lonely ones?
“Yes, ha. Looking back there have been a couple where I wasn’t in the best company. I could have been in better company — let’s leave it at that,” she laughs.
She’s still musing on the loneliness question though— but not in the way you’d expect. “Not at Christmas, but I had one New Year’s Eve in London, home alone — and it was fantastic.”
Honestly, she sounds energised by the mere thought of it. “I watched the fireworks on TV and I really just had a moment to myself. I was thinking about the people I love… but it was pretty fabulous. I’m not planning on doing that this year, but just as an odd one, I guess, depending on your mindset, it can be wonderful.”
Then she starts to giggle and it’s clear another juicy memory has just hit her. She tells me there is an expression among her close friends, “I don’t want to be on a swing,” and that the main thing at New Year is simply to avoid that. Now it’s my turn to be confused — I’m racking my brains to work out if this is some kind of slang for partner-swapping down under. They sure didn’t mention this on Married at First Sight.
But she soon explains, while sounding slightly guilty about spilling the beans: “Look I’m not going to name names, so she won’t get into any trouble, but a few years ago one of my girlfriends thought that this guy had said, ‘Yeah come over for New Year’s.’ It was, you know, a blossoming romance.”
Oh God. “She arrived — and his girlfriend was there. And his family was there too.” Oh double God. So what did she do, with the clock ticking towards midnight? “She kind of went into his back yard and sat on a swing. So it’s a turn of phrase we use now — I don’t want to spend New Year’s on a swing. That’s the only thing I don’t want. And I don’t want to drop my friend in it —but it’s quite a good expression once you start using it.”
Kylie Christmas (Fully Wrapped) is out on December 5; the Kylie Christmas (Fully Wrapped) pop-up shop at Battersea Power Station runs from December 5-7; batterseapowerstation.co.uk
