HER STORY Xanthe Sarr, 39, music teacher
I met Kwabena when I was a newly qualified teacher at the Charter School in south London. He sang all the time and his extraordinary voice had already been spotted before I arrived: Miss Williams, the deputy head, told me all about him. He taught himself to read music, and when he did music GCSE I felt uplifted by his ability to improvise and work with the notes. I still listen to the recording of his blues composition to cheer myself up, and play it to my pupils now as an example.
Working with such an exceptionally talented pupil makes them special to you. When it’s also a young person who doesn’t have the same home input as other children – Kwabena was with foster families – you realise the importance of input from school. I would often think of how my mum supported me with her musical knowledge and knowing which opportunities I could access.
There were a lot of people supporting Kwabena at school, but I was the one he saw most. I can’t remember who said the words “Royal Academy” first. He was ready to give it a go, but I didn’t know if they’d see everything I saw in him in one audition. I had to write a supporting statement, and for the “relationship” part he said: “We could put ‘musical mother’.’’ I doubt that was submitted, but I was touched.
When he left school, he was living independently in London, about to embark on a super-expensive four-year degree course and I wished that I could do more to help him financially. The way he managed his finances with such responsibility at 18 was just astonishing. As it happens, he’s going to be richer than all of us put together. I’m ridiculously proud of him – I couldn’t be more proud if he was my own child. I hope he remembers me as he continues to flourish.
HIS STORY Kwabs, 25, singer
School was a place where I could be comfortable and express myself, through music and other means. It helped having someone like Xanthe who spotted my enthusiasm, my talent, and maybe my vulnerability. She was funny and very real – it’s important to be able to connect with your teachers on a human level.
As a child you don’t always appreciate the things people say that affect your life, but I had a positive feeling around it all that I wasn’t getting from anywhere else – a feeling I was being cared for. Xanthe and some other teachers fulfilled a sort of parental role, where there might have been holes. You don’t necessarily give that up when you leave school. Xanthe helped open my mind to different possibilities: she introduced me to the National Youth Jazz Orchestra, she gave me a close harmony version of “I’ve Got Rhythm”, which I loved, and I did summer music courses in stuff like African drumming. It means I’ve gone into the music world with an incredibly broad set of experiences.
We met last year for the first time after school, for dinner in Brixton. I’d had a rollercoaster of a year – I’d just graduated and was entering the public eye while also having my own personal stuff to deal with. I was talking to Xanthe just as a friend, as someone to confide in, and it didn’t feel weird. She told me that if she’d had the money and the time, she would have been happy to adopt me when I was younger. I hadn’t understood she felt that level of compassion – as a kid I wasn’t ready to perceive that anyone did.
When I’m on tour I hardly see anyone, but if I call Xanthe, we just pick up where we left off. I still sometimes call her Miss Sarr, though – I need to sort that out.
Kwabs single “Fight for Love” is out on 28 June
