For many parents, their children’s smartphone use is a relentless bone of contention.
But Konnie Huq is pleased to say she’s not on the receiving end of any mobile phone grief from her two sons – at least, not yet.
The TV presenter’s boys, Covey, 13, and Huxley, 11, with her writer and TV presenter husband Charlie Brooker, don’t have fully-functioning smartphones, and Huq says her eldest son uses a ‘brick phone’ with very basic functions, and hasn’t asked for a smartphone yet.
“So I’ll wait until he wants one and is ready for one. But at the moment, he’s quite happy with a brick phone,” she explains happily.
Her youngest son hasn’t got a smartphone yet either, but he’s about to start secondary school, and Huq says: “That’s a conversation I’ll be having with him before the start of the new term, definitely. He’s been asking for a smartphone since forever.”
So Huq and Brooker got him a smartphone, but without a sim, and she says: “He didn’t really twig that it’s just essentially an iPad, but not as big, without a sim in it.”
The former Blue Peter presenter knows it probably won’t be long before her boys possess fully functioning smartphones, but she’s prepared for that eventuality, and is backing a new initiative by EE, the P.H.O.N.E. Contract, which is a free, customisable agreement parents and children can use to set boundaries around smartphone behaviour. It is developed with the help of Huq, the newly formed EE Youth Council, and Internet Matters.
“Children can agree with their parents on a contract that’s customised to help families make sure they’re all on the same page when it comes to the smartphone and its usage, ahead of the new school year,” says Huq.
New EE research has found nine in 10 adults (93%) argue with their children over smartphone use, while 39% of parents and 31% of 11-17-year-olds believe clearer guidelines over their devices and social media use would reduce family friction.
Such family friction isn’t something Huq’s experienced so far, but she explains it’s probably only because her children haven’t really got the smartphone bug yet: “It’s something that really starts kicking in towards the end of primary school, and then in secondary school – that’s when it all starts becoming a thing, because they see their friends with smartphones, and there’s this real FOMO that can set in once you’re in those teenage years, and hormones are racing round and you just want to be part of the gang.”
While there are no official consequences if children break the smartphone use contract, Huq points out kids often respond better to boundaries set by others, rather than their parents.
“This contract with the family is essentially a social contract, and it does feel like there’s a certain level of authority outside the family unit,” she says.
“It’s often the case that children are more likely to respond to someone that isn’t a parent in certain scenarios, because it feels like they’re being policed by an outside authority. So it’s not something that comes with any punishment, but it feels as though it’s more immutable.”
Huq is aware that parents are important role models for everything, including mobile phone use, and she says she avoids social media, so at least her kids won’t be learning any bad habits from her in that respect.
But she admits: “There are games I’m addicted to that I’m just playing the whole time on my phone, and then I really do enjoy conversing, so I like to catch up with friends on the phone, which is very old-school.
“And then my brain feels like it just can’t retain all the information that I wish, and Google is only a finger tap away. I use my phone to look up so much stuff that I wish I could retain. So my phone is very much an integral part of my life from that perspective.”
But Huq’s life is too busy for her to spend much time on her phone – as well as looking after her family, she’s just written a novel, is in the process of creating a children’s picture book, and is about to start filming a BBC Christmas drama for family viewing.
She says she has weights and does “sort of exercise at home, but not as much as I should. I’m going to start stepping up my exercise quotas. Definitely.”
And that might be a good way to offset the chocolate which she says she loves.
“I try and eat natural foods – I don’t really eat stuff that’s too processed. I do have a real soft spot for chocolate though. That’s my one thing – I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t really even have coffee, but I do love chocolate.”
But as she’s svelte and obviously doesn’t have a weight problem, chocolate is clearly an indulgence Huq can afford if it makes her happy.
“I’m very happy with my life – I don’t really want for much, and I don’t feel I need much,” she declares.
“I don’t get happiness from material goods. I get happiness from people around me, which I think is key to mental wellbeing, because if you’re somebody that’s only happy eating in a Michelin-starred restaurant, you’re going to have a lot of sadness in life because no food will live up to your standards.
“I know that my friends like me for me, rather than my fancy clothes or my fancy car or my fancy house, or any of that stuff. I’d rather be untrendy and have people that like me for me.
“I keep my standards pretty low, which means that I’m forever happy.”
Konnie Huq, EE’s parent ambassador, is encouraging families to visit one of 400+ stores nationwide for expert guidance on managing their child’s digital wellbeing ahead of the new school year, and learn about a new range of Safer SIMs developed to help under-18s thrive online.
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