Cynics suggesting that Ed Miliband could walk into an empty room and manage to get lost prompted a firestorm of facepalming this week. First came Monday night’s ITV debate on mansion tax which was claimed hysterically as a Paxman moment for Myleene “Have you seen what £2m can get you? It’s, like, a garage” Klass. But then, worse, came the indignity of Miliband’s response. A mere 12 hours in the composing, it stated, sniggering at itself, “Here’s why our NHS needs a mansion tax. It’s Pure and Simple.” This was followed by a link to a Labour blog detailing six benefits of the proposed tax. LOLZ!
The eagle-eyed among you will notice that Ed’s gag-writers have cleverly referenced the debut single of Myleene’s late, lamented beat combo Hear’Say, the capital letters hammering home the “joke” to the fraction of the populace who wouldn’t get it (basically, my parents and Steve Brookstein, who uses neurolinguistic programming to filter out any Simon Cowell-related material in case his brain explodes). But, if you’re going to take half a day to rustle up a smackdown for the one-time I’m A Celebrity/Loose Women/Celebrity Mastermind rent-a-guest, you have to do better than that.
So, here are some comebacks we came up with on our fag break. Ed, our phones are switched on and our hourly rates are reasonable.
Hey @klassmyleene, when it comes to the proposed mansion tax and how you should feel about it, Lovin’ Is Easy.
Hey @klassmyleene, feast your M&S mince pies on my mansion tax blog.
Hey @klassmyleene, here’s a quick breakdown of the mansion tax and why we have to Make It Happen (unlike your solo career). #lolz #itstrack7onherdebutalbum
Hey @klassmyleene: some reasons why we have to CD:UK initiate the mansion tax.
Hey @klassmyleene: here’s My Klass explanation of the mansion tax.
Hey @klassmyleene, if you can’t see the sense in our proposed mansion tax then, frankly, Get Me Out Of Here!
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