What?
The Elevate cookie turner (£10, Josephjoseph.com) is a rear-weighted, rounded silicone spatula with integrated stay. Set down, the device angles upward, minimising counter smear.
Why?
A cookie gotta crumble, but a mix ain’t gotta drip, ya dig?
Well?
Confusing times: American friends have, in apparent seriousness, told me that biscuits are something they put in gravy. Although this does not top the list of that country’s recent mistakes, it proves they need to take a hard look at themselves. It is true that cookies and biscuits are different beasts – one is larger and chewier, but both are 100% sweet. (We also have dumplings, or New Yorkshire puddings, or whatever the hell our gum-snapping cousins are referring to as “biscuits”. So what do they call the spreading disc of glutinous thrill that is a cookie? A maxi cookie? An awesome button?)
Anyway, the whole thing got me hankering for a sugared flat cracker, which allowed me to test this week’s gadget, the Elevate cookie turner. Let’s disregard the fact that Cookie Turner sounds like one of Tina Turner’s more problematic husbands. (“That’s right pop pickers, screaming in from the American hit parade, it’s Cookie Turner and The Crumbles with their smash record Elevate! Wop-bop-aloo-bam!”)
The device is tasteful to the point of invisibility, half coloured grey, and the other half ... a slightly lighter grey. While not 50 shades, the flexibly firm paddle would double as a handy spanker. The sole claim on our attention here is the “elevate technology”. In practice, it means the turner points slightly up at rest, like every other spatula on God’s pleasant earth. But it achieves this by hoisting its whole body up on a flat-bottomed prop halfway up the handle, keeping the messy end well clear of your surface. I guess it’s technology, in the same way that a folded up wad of paper under a wobbly table leg is technology, and it works well.
How is it at flipping biscuits? Good; but how hard would one have to try to be bad? And when exactly do you need to turn a cookie when it’s cooking? It’s all over in 10 minutes.
Redeeming features?
Adept at rising above and avoiding smears: the Barack Obama of spatulas.
Counter, drawer, back of the cupboard?
Elevate good times! Oh, come on. 3/5
