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Kirstie Clements

Kirstie Clements: How cheeky! Celebs flaunt the bottomless upside of a backside

Okay, it’s official, ladies, pants are passé. As are skirts. If you haven’t forgotten to put something on over your tights, you’re just not on trend.

I was somewhat baffled when I first saw the photograph of Julie Bishop circulating last week, wearing a long-line blazer with sheer stockings and heels.

“Where is her skirt?” I thought, like the judgy old weirdo I am. “Did the stylist forget the trousers?”.

I’ve always thought that people’s nether regions look nicer when they’re covered, at least out in public, but clearly it’s time to put me out on the ice floe.

Going pants-less is the new trend. We’ve seen Kendall Jenner wearing a sweater with 20 denier black tights and high heels. Like Ann-Margaret in Viva Las Vegas, except she was in dance rehearsal, not out on the streets.

Bella Hadid in white man-style undies, bare legs and sneakers. Hailey Bieber in various guises – long sweatshirts, oversized jackets etc, but no discernible bottom pieces like, say, a skirt or even shorts. Just sheer tights.

I suppose if you’ve got great pins, or you spend hours running, you want to show them off. And I mean, it does technically halve your clothing budget, doesn’t it?

The Miu Miu show this week sealed the trend by sending out models in sequinned Sixties-style bikini pants and heels, bikini briefs over tights, or sometimes just tights. For a few seasons now, the micro-mini pleated Miu Miu skirt no bigger than a belt has been dominant, so the house clearly decided to cash in, and feature looks even more revealing.

How very cheeky!

Actress Florence Pugh made quite the statement at the Valentino show last Sunday, during Paris Fashion Week, when she turned up in a beautiful floor-length sheer sequin skirt with a very visible boring old white G-string underneath. When she turned around, her exposed butt cheeks were beamed across the world.

Let’s face it, exposure gets a lot of press, which is why the young influencers, Hollywood actresses, and, yes, even Julie Bishop, are getting in on the act and challenging us old fuddy duddys who still choose to wear a modesty slip under a sheer skirt. Press coverage good; actual coverage bad.

The no-pants look is often a runway styling trick to make conservative clothes, like the gorgeous and utilitarian jackets and skirts and parkas at Miu Miu, look more modern and sexier. In the past, there have been more suggestions of skin with the glimpse of a pretty bra or big knickers under something sheer. In the present day, they are adopted straight up. Bras are tops, and now undies will be bottoms.

I don’t mean to sound prudish, probably just jealous, because if I had the figure some of these young women, I’d be out there in my knickers 24/7 too.

To my mind, it’s about location, I’m happy to be seen in a two-piece cossie at the beach, less so at a restaurant. Wait until the men get in on the act. We are probably only a few seasons away from Y fronts with a dinner jacket.

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