Kirk Norcross has bravely told fans he is suffering from post traumatic stress disorder after tragically finding his dad Mick dead earlier this year.
The former TOWIE star, 33, opened up about his dad's heartbreaking death on Instagram as he revealed he was the one who found the businessman hanged aged 57 at his home in Upminster, Essex, in January.
In a series of tearful videos, Kirk shared with his followers how he cut his dad down, but it was too late to bring him back.
The TV star went on to add he has since been diagnosed with PTSD after the traumatic moment.
Kirk, who said the situation has been "eating him up" inside, shared: "I haven't told no one this, only like my friends and family know. I don't know why I'm telling Instagram, really. It's not for a sob story. I don't want no special treatment or anything.
"Maybe if I tell more people, it takes a lot of pressure off my shoulders. Obviously everyone is aware that I lost my dad due to suicide. He hung himself. And I was the one that found my dad."
He continued: "It weren't nice. There was no saving him but I cut him down and tried to give him CPR. I don't take anything away from my old man for doing that, you know. I'd rather do that than some stranger find him. It just eats me up.
"It's a bit hard to deal with, but I am. I don't know why I’m telling Instagram. I just thought… I've got a lot of pressure on my shoulders lately. I feel good. I'm being a good man for my dad. I feel a lot better already, just a bit of weight off my shoulders, you know."
Speaking about the diagnosis after explaining he is still mourning, he candidly said: "Obviously that’s why I’ve just been diagnosed with PTSD.
“I’ve been having this pain where I feel like my throat is closing up and I can’t swallow. It’s not life, is it? This shouldn’t happen to people.
"But it’s my life and it’s what I’ve got to do. And I feel better for talking.”
Kirk added that he is going to "be the man my dad wanted me to be".
He said: "It's life, though. It does make you or break you. It's going to make me, I know it will. Just got to get up and just be the man my dad wanted me to be. That's all I can do."
If you're struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans operate a free helpline open 24/7 on 116 123. Alternatively, you can email jo@samaritans.org or visit their site to find your local branch.
