Finally, a re-advent we can all get behind: Kim Kardashian’s arse is back! And before you say: “Oh I know, I saw him in the lobby of Trump Tower,” – I’m talking about her literal one, not her metaphorical one. The manner in which Kanye opts to recover from his breakdown is a matter as private as it is idiosyncratic.
As for Kim, you may be aware that she has observed a 10-week social media silence, following the Paris burglary in which she had a gun held to her head, before being gagged and thrown into a bathtub, while thieves robbed her of millions of dollars’ worth of jewellery. Since then, there has been all sorts of conjecture that she was totally overhauling her image as a consequence.
Happily, this distinctly censorious speculation appears to have been unfounded. Madam has this week broken her social media silence by posting some mesmeric footage of her own gyrating backside, and a still photo of what appears to be her cleavage resting on someone else’s bottom. The only text accompanying them teases: “December 16th”. I can probably wait to find out what it all means, but still: welcome back, old stick!
Needless to say, that view is not universally shared. The most toxic reaction to this comes from pointless überblogger Perez Hilton, who has always excelled at turning fluffy showbiz gossip into a form of creepy bigotry. (Possibly the only hatreds Perez is convincingly against would be homophobia and Hispanophobia, for the simple reason that they affect him personally.)
“I was expecting so much more from your return to social media,” he opines in an open message to Kim. “Sad. Sad. Sad. After your ‘traumatic’ Paris robbery, THIS is how you return to Instagram? Clearly nothing’s changed.”
And yet, what should have changed? I think Kim probably already knew that aggravated burglary was a bad thing before it happened to her. Still, it is always instructive to hear from the high sparrow of drawing cocks onto women’s faces, and we must wish Perez the compliments of the season.
