A YOUNG man sat in Newcastle Supreme Court on Tuesday and for nearly two hours watched as his even younger self - tears streaming down his face, his head in his hands - outlined the decisions that "ruined his life" and led to the murder of 60-year-old Philip Steele.
Unrecognisable compared to the man sitting in court, the much younger-looking, much skinnier man who appeared on the screen with dark rings around his eyes, repeatedly burst into tears as he discussed the lead-up to the home invasion, "the poor fella" Mr Steele who had died, his fears about life in jail, concerns about his family's safety on the outside and his co-offender, Jeremy Garvey, who he said he was "very intimidated by".
"It shouldn't have happened," the young man on the screen said between tears and gulps of air.
But while the young man's remorse seemed profound and genuine, he had told at least a few lies.
Armed with a baseball bat, he was one of three men who climbed through an open window into Mr Steele's Whitebridge home in the early hours of December 17, 2018.
What happened next was a chaotic scene, a wild melee with arms, machetes and bats flailing that left Mr Steele dead.
The young man had said in his police interview that during the melee he had merely tried to push Mr Steele to get him to let go of Garvey.
"I didn't want to hit him with the bat," the young man said in the interview, attempting to reinforce his claims that he had not wanted to enter the home and never intended to hurt anyone.
But on the stand on Monday, the young man acknowledged he had minimised his involvement in Mr Steele's death. He admitted he had struck Mr Steele with the bat "three or four times" and said he initially lied because he was "ashamed" and "utterly disgusted" with himself.
The young man had said during his police interview that he and another man had taken it in turns holding the bat, but on Tuesday admitted that he had sole possession of that weapon throughout the home invasion.
But, despite his admissions, Crown prosecutor Lee Carr suggested the young man was still minimising his involvement, pointing to the autopsy that showed 29 areas of blunt force trauma on Mr Steele's body.
"Could you have hit him more than three or four times?" Mr Carr asked.
"That was the maximum that I hit him," the young man replied. "I know it was definitely no more than that."
Under cross-examination, the young man maintained that, while he wasn't threatened to take part in the home invasion, he did fear Mr Garvey and felt that if he backed out he would be assaulted.
The young man, who has pleaded guilty to murder, will be sentenced next month.
