Sometimes it’s hard to be a man, as the song (almost) goes. Traditional ideas of masculinity and gender politics might be changing, but there remains a pressure on men to be seen as responsible role models. We are very often still expected to be father figures, providers, the person who knows where the trip switch lives … to be proper grownups, in short.
Or are we? A recent survey showed that 72% of British adults consider themselves to be “big kids”, with seven out of 10 of us agreeing that playing with children’s toys and games is socially acceptable. Trampoline parks, paintballing and laser gaming are all enjoying unprecedented popularity with adults. According to research last year by innovation charity Nesta, using data from the government’s Taking Part survey of 10,000 adults, the average age of those playing video games is 43.
Dr Paul McLaren, consultant adult psychiatrist at the Priory hospital, Hayes Grove, in Kent, believes the distinction between “grown-up” and childish activities is becoming increasingly blurred, as more of us enjoy the kidult within.
“A kidult is a grownup who still values having fun and has the opportunity to do so,” he says. “Dads have always been interested in comics, Lego, electric racing cars or train sets. We’ve simply become more open and transparent about that.”
But if some men have always tinkered with their toy train sets in their spare time, what about those whose very career revolves around remaining a big kid?
Jonathan Robson, 28, from Glasgow, has worked as a Lego designer for six years. “I always thought toys would be cool to work with,” he says. “I work on Lego Classic, which means that from day to day I might be designing houses or dogs or spaceships. The variety is endless.”
He also does not see the fact his career revolves around playing with plastic building toys as any kind of threat to his masculinity. Quite the reverse, in fact.
“When I meet other designers, they’re really jealous I work for Lego,” says Robson. “And when I meet people who have more traditional jobs, they can’t believe it – I think they have this image of me frolicking in a big pool of bricks every day. Do I tell them that it’s not like that? Of course not, where would be the fun in that? Obviously it’s a bit of a crazy job, but that’s great, right? Who wants to do something boring their whole lives?”
For Hugh Raine, 37, from Dewsbury, West Yorkshire, the idea of putting on a suit and commuting to an office job every day for 30 years is similarly inconceivable. He works as an illustrator – writing and drawing the weekly Betty and the Yeti comic strip in the Beano.
“Working for the Beano was my number one dream job when I was growing up,” Raine says. “I used to devour it every week as a kid. I’d sit and draw my own comic strips all day long. The fact I’m getting paid to do it now still amazes me.”
He is also entirely unfazed by being labelled a kidult.
“When I tell other men what I do, their eyes light up, without fail,” he says. “We’re told cartoons are something you’re supposed to leave behind when you grow up, but I don’t think that’s true at all. Why should it be? I’ve got a friend who’s a solicitor and he’s always saying he can’t believe I’m getting away with it.
“But I think it’s totally valid to have a job that’s fun. Any job is what you make of it – I’m sure there’s a solicitor out there living their own childhood dream of one day being a solicitor. I don’t feel embarrassed in any way – I feel incredibly lucky.”
It’s a sentiment shared by Nick Cope, 53, from Oxford, who has successfully forged a second career writing songs and books for children, after a former life as frontman of 1990s Britpop band the Candyskins.
“We formed the Candyskins at school and when it petered out I didn’t really know what to do,” he says. “There I was in my mid-40s with three children, a mortgage and no qualifications. I’d suddenly gone from living the teenage dream to having to get a ‘proper’ job.”
After a stint in catering, Cope was asked to sing for the children at the nursery his partner Amanda worked at. And he never looked back.
“I got my guitar, wrote a few little songs, and it was such good fun. The whole thing was a proper lightbulb moment,” he says. “That was about 10 years ago. And now it’s a full-time job. I do it every day – in schools, theatres, festivals, all over the country. I’m making a better living now than I ever did in the band … and the brilliant thing about playing to children is they’re entirely without prejudice. If it’s funny and has a good tune, they like it. There’s no concept of what’s cool, or whatever.”
For McLaren, the rise in kidult careers is a result of not only a new self-confidence in modern men, but of society as a whole.
“In the past you played with your mates, you went to school and then you all went into the local industry – the mine or the shipyard or the car plant – and there would have been powerful peer pressure to follow the herd,” he says. “That’s simply not the case now. If there are more opportunities to work in careers that you perceive as fun, then why would you not take them?”
Robson, whose job designing Lego could certainly be perceived as fun, says: “Sometimes I feel like I’m going to get caught out and told to get a proper job.”
Do what feels right with Philips: whether that’s doing a job you love or finding a grooming routine that works for you. Find out more about Philips’ shaving and grooming here
