VAR: A CLEAR AND OBVIOUS ERROR
So enough evidence has been gathered for one thing to have become certain: VAR is going to start a nuclear war this summer. Whether you’re broadly in favour of the system or think it’s a philosophically flawed pursuit of a circle that can never be squared, you’re just kicking the tin can of subjectivity down the road, it causes more problems than it solves, I mean come off it, is it really worth getting a smattering of borderline decisions right at the cost of hours of NFL-style VT rock-and-rolling and days of interminable, semantic, legalistic post-hoc arguments over the exact definition of “clear and obvious error”, and for what, the dream of a perfection that can never realistically be achieved anyway, what price the soul of football, look, you’re not listening to me, listen to me, stop talking over me, stop shouting, did you just take a swing at me, take your hands off me, that’s the only rational conclusion to be drawn.
Because last night at Wembley, England had their first taste of VAR, nearly 52 years after you-know-what happened down the other end. And this time the decision didn’t go in their favour. James Tarkowski stood on Federico Chiesa’s foot, and after an hour of NFL-style VT rock-and-rolling, referee Deniz Aytekin performed the internationally recognised Lionel Blair/Una Stubbs mime for it’s-a-telly-programme and pointed at the spot. Cue the interminable, semantic, legalistic post-hoc arguments over the exact definition of “clear and obvious error”, and for what, a perfection that can never realistically be etc and so forth and so on. Diplomats are going to have their work cut out in the summer, when these sort of decisions please nobody and this sort of nonsense really matters. Thank God Boris isn’t going.
Fortunately Gareth Southgate isn’t a boorish, belligerent clown, and afterwards was the model of diplomacy. While he did play the “clear and obvious” card – “It’s one you can debate all day” – he was magnanimous enough to admit “the system can be a success. If we had it in Holland the other night, we would have had a penalty and the opposition would have had a red card in the first two minutes. Here we have suffered from it.” Whether other managers/diplomats/presidents/generals will be as measured in the heat of the World Cup is a moot point. Southgate instead preferred to consider his side’s decent showing in attack: “There’s a lot of positives to take.” Which is nice to hear. Much healthier to coo over the impressive performances of Raheem Sterling and Jesse Lingard, than obsess over major concerns such as the loss of football’s soul, impending nuclear winter, and the insouciant dribbling style of John Stones.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I had an inkling something was seriously wrong so it wasn’t a total shock but you never expect the final call to say you’re done. I was told: ‘You have to stop otherwise you won’t be walking in your 30s’” – Christian Ribeiro, who once counted Gareth Bale and Aaron Ramsey among his Wales team-mates, recalls the painful moment he was told his career was over at the age of 27.
THE FIVEЯ
Yes, it’s our not-singing, not-dancing World Cup Fiver. Out every Thursday lunchtime BST, here’s the first edition.
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FIVER LETTERS
“Whilst walking down a street in Sevilla this afternoon I noticed a sticker on a bar window (Fivers letters passim) that someone had tried to remove, but failed. It said: ‘Manchester United – not arrogant just better!’ Just not better than Sevilla obviously! Heritage?” – Rob Worsfold.
“It makes me slightly sad to think that whatever happens in Russia this summer, even if we win the thing (and we won’t), we will never be as cool as Leonardo Cuéllar and Hugo Sánchez at World Cup 1978” – Noble Francis.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our letter o’the day is … Rob Worsfold, who bags a copy of Vince, the autobiography of Vince Hilaire.
THE RECAP
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NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Belgium boss Bobby M has warned Toby Alderweireld that he might want to try to make Mauricio Pochettino pick him for Spurs if he expects a World Cup place.
Brazil-born Diego Costa waited about three seconds for the dust to settle on Spain’s 6-1 shellacking of Argentina before rubbing his opponents’ faces in it. “Today, they have seen what they are without Messi,” he cackled. “Argentina have to take care of Leo; they have to be grateful.”
Five England players – Lucy Bronze, Isobel Christiansen, Fran Kirby, Jordan Nobbs and Jodie Taylor – are on the shortlist for the Football Writers’ Association’s inaugural Women’s Footballer of the Year award.
Former Ipswich manager Bobby Ferguson, who succeeded Bobby Robson, has died aged 80. “He was somebody you respected. When he spoke you listened to him, and he treated the players with a hell of a lot of respect,” said the former England defender Russell Osman.
Toni Kroos reckons Brazil’s 1-0 defeat of Germany might serve as a helpful kick up the jacksie for some of his underperforming team-mates before the Ethics World Cup. “We have shown that we are not as good as some people say or as some of us might think,” he sniffed.
And 2008’s Gabriel Agbonlahor is considering heading for the USA! USA!! USA!!! when his Aston Villa contract ends.
STILL WANT MORE?
Who’s on the England plane to Russia? Dominic Fifield dishes out his imaginary airline tickets.
Belgium, Tunisia and Panama: how did England’s World Cup opponents get on? The Fiver hasn’t the foggiest, but thankfully these scribes know.
Argentina are in a mess, England should go for all-out attack and Kylian Mbappé’s heroics are papering over French cracks – it’s our international talking points.
Raheem Sterling puffed his chest out and offered England a bit of zip at Wembley, reckons Barney Ronay.
Ailsa from Home and Away needs Charlie Austin fit and firing to save Southampton, writes Martin Laurence.
Which football clubs and stadiums run university courses and what is the furthest distance a goal has been scored from a direct free-kick? The Knowledge answers all.
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