Few would have thought it possible for KFC to come up with something even more monstrously unspeakable than popcorn chicken, but it’s managed it. The chain is now using orphans to flog its food.
In this new advert, a doe-eyed little boy named Andy arrives at his adoptive parents’ home and, after some initial anxiety, has all his fears quelled by the great big bucket of fried chicken sitting on the dining-room table. Then Andy grows up. He kisses girls, graduates from university and, finally, now an adult, ushers a new nervous little boy to the same family table, where a KFC bucket stands once more.
Andy and his dad – who now looks like a Stieg Larsson character with a secret underground chamber - share a knowing glance and everyone is happy. Leaving aside the fact that in the real world, after a lifetime of buckets, there’s a fair chance Andy would be missing a foot, what’s even more jarring is that KFC would actually try to use the fraught process of foster care to make even more money.
Hundreds of millions in profit isn’t enough for the Colonel when there’s more to be squeezed out using the happiness of children as emotional blackmail. Fast food for fast love. And if it’s willing to sink to that level, what could it possibly use next? Whaling? Something involving Bambi’s mother and a high-velocity rifle? But perhaps that’s the point. Perhaps the KFC marketing department is cleverer than we think, because the worse the taste left by its latest sales strategy, the more we all need a hit of its – let’s face it – delicious chicken.
