A bewildering glimpse into the life of the modern tabloid celebrity comes courtesy of this week's OK! magazine cover star Kerry Katona, who along with her enduringly sinister husband Mark and her children provides the magazine with a tableau of domestic bliss. "With Molly and Lilly playing happily upstairs, baby Max sleeping in his cot and Heidi content in her high chair," OK! observes, "it was like a scene out of Stepford Wives."
Indeed. But it is the response to one particular question that gives an insight into life inside the endless cycle of "WORLD EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEWS" into which OK! shoehorn their star players each week.
"Are you ever worried about fading into non-existence?" the magazine inquires.
"That'll never happen," Mark explains sweetly to Kerry. "You're a train wreck – everybody loves a train wreck!"
"My life is a soap opera," is Kerry's response. "You've got the scriptwriters, who are the press, and then you've got the characters, who are the celebrities. Then the scriptwriters go: 'Okay, what episode is going to get the best ratings? I know, let's kill off Harold Bishop, just like they tried to kill Jade Goody, then they think, let's bring Harold back, just like they brought Jade back. But Jade's a survivor!"
What can one say? Other than advise OK! to chalk up another triumph...
