"You took a lie detector test, didn't you, Nick? I passed. You see, we're both innocent, Nick."
The words, of course, are Sharon Stone's to Michael Douglas in Basic Instinct, but they may just as easily apply to the stormy psychodrama currently playing out between Iceland mum Kerry Katona and her husband Mark Croft.
For reasons not entirely unrelated to the contents of the Sunday red-tops, Kerry was moved to eject Mark from their lavish £1.2m Wilmslow home shortly after they dropped on the mat, and since then has been only able to speak of her hurt and betrayal via her publicist Max Clifford.
Yet according to reports, Kerry will allow Mark back into the lavish £1.2m Wilmslow home on one condition: that he takes a polygraph test. An unconventional move. But let's see more of this in celebrity fact-checking, please!
Naturally, we can only wish Mark all the best. Though it seems that, even should the needle fail to leap skyward as he is asked to define precisely the nature of his acquaintance with two young ladies, he will still not be out of the woods.
"Kerry loves Mark but has concerns - he's now very much on trial," Max reveals caringly. Still, thank heavens the old boy's around to make things easier.
