Kerry Katona was on the verge of tears as she spoke about her abusive marriage to her late ex-husband George Kay.
The former Atomic Kitten singer appeared on Loose Women on Tuesday as she opened up on her turbulent relationship, which saw her lie to her mother Sue.
Kerry, 42, said she feels ashamed for staying with George for so long and regrets the fact her children knew about the abuse.
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She shared Molly, 21, and Lilly-Sue, 19, with ex Brian McFadden, son Maxwell, 14, with ex Mark Croft and daughter Dylan-Jorge, eight, with George.
The star tied the knot with George, her third husband, in September 2014 before they divorced in 2017.
In July 2019, George collapsed and died after a drug overdose.
Speaking to the panellists, Kerry said: "It's not about blame. It's a fear. It's so difficult, my mum said she was waiting on the police to knock on the door and say he had killed me.
"I have George's little girl. I remember he was covering up my bruises, and I told my mum it was from rough sex. She looked at George, and he knew that she knew."
She went on to explain how her eldest daughter, Molly, once gave her a look that made her become concerned about what she was teaching her children by staying with George.
Kerry said: "Molly gave me a look of pure weakness once, and I thought, what am I teaching my kids?
"There's such a shame I held on for so long. I know my kids are messed up because of it.
"Lilly and Molly can go to Brian, and it's the same with Mark whenever they want, but DJ hasn't got that choice."
Kerry previously confessed she would be 'dead' if he was still alive today.
She used to send pictures of her 'bruised and battered body' to both her mum and manager, so they knew if anything happened to her, it was at the hands of George.
Kerry eventually took out a restraining order on George to protect her family from her abusive ex, and while it wasn't a decision she took lightly, she has no regrets - with her worst fears confirmed following George's death in 2019.
"He had threatened to rape my mum and slash her up in front of me.
"So I didn't know what he was going to do next. I was terrified he was going to hurt her or DJ," Kerry said when recalling a threatening FaceTime with George before his death.
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