When Granny ordered her daughter and her daughter's "live-in" to move out of their Klong Toey shack, there was no wiggle room for argument and debate. To emphasise this point, Granny had a long pistol, the trigger of which she had never in her life pulled, but a gun, nevertheless.
But let's begin with what's most important: The immediate danger is over for now. Granny's granddaughter, four-year-old Boey, is back in our first-year kindergarten. She's coping remarkably well, is never alone, and she is generally never more than an arm's length from her teacher. And Boey's entire back and bottom remain only faintly red from the bamboo-switch hitting she endured from her mom -- a full-on beating not to be confused with a spanking.
Mom is 25-year-old Mae Nim as Boey affectionately calls her. Mae Nim enjoyed a good upbringing, she seldom missed a meal, and she had an ordinary but good slum education. Her mom -- Granny -- and dad loved her and cared for her. She was poor, but so what? This is Klong Toey.
As we like to say about such things and people, somewhere, somehow, something went wrong.
This was Mae Nim's third "live in". These men can't be called husbands, as there were no religious ceremonies, no permissions from parents, nothing formal or officiated, nothing sealed by bureaucratic blessing. Just two people with nothing more than a nod and wink deciding to move in together into a rented shack. Most of the time with these arrangements, the woman gets stuck paying the rent. Therefore, the man wins; the woman loses. And any children born into these no-promises, no-contract, ad-hoc relationships are double losers. Always.
Mom chooses the wrong side
The whole hullabaloo was really about nothing, but then it escalated. Mr. Third Live-In's three sons were harassing Boey when mom entered the fray in defence of the boys. From the start that's an awful choice -- choosing sides against your own daughter, the smallest kid in the shack. The boys had taken Boey's beloved teddy bear at the precise time Boey needed it for sleep. When they refused to return it, Boey began crying, and then she grabbed teddy. The boys had just recaptured teddy when mom told Boey to "play nice". But as the teasing and grabbing inevitably resumed, mom beat Boey and cursed the boys. At this point, drug-smashed live-in intervened, telling Mae Nim to stop yelling at his sons. Back and forth it went, louder by the minute, until Boey saw her chance. She grabbed teddy and bolted out the front door.
That's when Granny went berserk. She grabbed the gun and told Boey to stay there where she would be safe. She would pay a visit to Mae Nim's shack and be right back.
On the way out the door, Grandpa saw the pistol in Granny's hand and ran after her shouting, "Stop, stop!" Granny had never learned how to shoot a gun, and Grandpa feared she might accidentally pull the trigger. He couldn't remember if it was still loaded from years ago. Wasn't supposed to be, but you never know.
Most of the time, Granny is about as sweet as the sugar-coated thick breakfast toast she sells on the street corner for five baht. It's the best toast in all of Klong Toey, maybe in all of Bangkok. But on this night, seeing Boey's tears and hearing how mom had beaten her, sweet-as-sugar Granny became angry-pistol-packing mama.
Now, three weeks later, the marks from her mother's beatings are slowly fading. Where is mom now? We heard the other day via the grapevine that she and live-in reside on the other side of the river and are doing coolie labour in the port. But it's only a rumour.
The 'something' in the something went wrong
Several months ago, mom forgot and left two pills out on a table. Two is enough to put a four-year-old in the hospital overnight. Boey was hungry and thought the pills were candy. After chewing them, she decided they were bitter candy. She swallowed both.
Today, when she sees any pill lying around, she runs to Granny or to her teacher, whoever is nearest. If she doesn't see Granny or her teacher, she just begins crying and lifts up the back of her blouse, waiting for mom's bamboo switch.
Amphetamines, like most pills, are very bitter and unpleasant to chew and swallow. But when a child is hungry, it beats the option of having nothing to chew and swallow. And like most kids in the Klong Toey slums, Boey was often hungry. Mae Nim rarely got around to feeding and caring for her, so each morning on the way to school she stopped to visit Granny at her kerbside breakfast toast shop. She usually filled up on two huge pieces of thick buttered sugar toast, but the shop closed every night at sunset. This left Boey hungry.
Mae Nim first acquired her taste for amphetamines and other drugs when she was age 15. Some boy sweet-talked her into trying amphetamines "just this once". Once became twice became four times, which soon doubled. Drug addiction grows exponentially. She had stopped many times -- mostly when she didn't have any drug money. Had nothing to do with maturation and self-discipline. One of her many relapses occurred the night Boey chewed and swallowed the stray pills. The pills were given to Mae Nim on loan she promised to pay for them the following day.
Mom washed down the pills with bottles of local beer. The drug-alcohol combo soon knocked her out, dropped her cold. She collapsed on the shack floor and soiled herself. Her beer bottle shattered, waking her daughter. Boey wandered out, saw the pills, and because of hunger pangs, she ate them.
Mae Nim was the only adult in their rented shack that night. Her first live-in died years earlier in his sleep. No one knew why. Probably a heart attack, and so officials at the city morgue called it a routine death.
Her second live-in is Boey's father, but he was arrested soon after Boey was born. He's serving a long-term prison sentence for dealing drugs. Live-in number three and his sons had not moved in yet.
For income, Mae Nim sometimes helped Granny sell toast, but she usually just pushed a three-wheel cart collecting saleable junk. She did OK financially. That is according to slum standards. Enough money for herself and Boey. But that was only if you eliminated the split routinely given to drugs.
Today, Boey is safe and looks librarian smart in a new pair of glasses. She is doing just fine in her first year of kindergarten, almost ready for the second. She lives with Granny, where the pistol is wrapped in an old cloth and tucked away in its hiding place-unloaded and with no bullets to be found.
At school, Boey likes to boast that she is Granny's toast-making assistant and apprentice. She aspires to grow up and keep Granny's franchise alive and well. "I will one day be the toast lady," she promises.
And if mom can kick addiction and dump the loser live-ins, the dream is for mother and daughter to one day co-manage the best toast shop in all of Klong Toey.
Father Joe Maier is the director and co-founder of the Human Development Foundation in Klong Toey. For more information, call 02-671-5313 or visit http://mercycentre.org.
