And here is the match report in case you want to another angle on a chastening ordeal for Scotland.
Alex McLeish's verdict
“It was horrible. Ollie Burke looked a little bit up for it and a couple of times Stuart Armstrong made penetrating runs ... and then they hit us with two blockbusters and it was difficult. It was disappointing not to see a great reaction to that ... They were first to the second balls and were sharper on the night and unfortunately we didn’t get up to speed.”
The manager says that at half-time “we mentioned the rugby team at Twickenham and tried to use used that as an example ... but unfortunately the Kazakhs were a team on fire tonight”.
“It’s a sore one ... but you have to give a little bit of credit to the Kazakh team for taking advantage of us.”
Callum McGregor's verdict
“We’re devastated,” says the Celtic midfielder. “We didn’t do enough on the night. The totally deserved it. We just have to hold our hands up. We were nowhere near it tonight. We didn’t start well. We lost two goals in quick succession and never recovered. We never implemented what we were trying to do. We didn’t use the ball well enough or get the ball into the front man quick enough or do the things we were asked to do. The players have to hold our hands up.”
All hail Kazakhstan fifth competitive win in the last 10 years. Previous victims: Latvia, Faroe Islands, Azerbaijan and Andorra. Oh Scotland!
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“I’d take a point in San Marino,” sobs Simon McMahon. “Seriously.” Meanwhile, Alex McLeish has to prepare for a post-match interview. Declan Rice’s PR people aren’t the only ones with a tough job on their hands today ...
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Full-time: Kazakhstan 3-0 Scotland
It’s a woeful start to Scotland’s campaign. They were two down within 10 minutes and never looked like recovering, royally outclassed by the team ranked 117th in the world. Scotland were missing some important players but that does not excuse their lack of vim and craft. In defence they looked disorganised and up front they offered nothing. The midfield was a void. All in all, it was wretched. Their next assignment is against San Marino, which either offers the perfect chance to regain some confidence ... or an opportunity to sink even lower.
90+2 min: Burke tries to curl one into the top corner from the edge of the box. He misses by the width of an aircraft carrier.
90 min: There will be at least five more minutes of hell for Scotland.
88 min: Kazakhstan are just seeing this out now. They know there is no threat whatsoever from their opponents so they’re preserving themselves for bigger challenges to come. “I understand that Andy Robertson is sitting in dentist’s chair but still, this sounds a completely toothless performance by Scotland,” spaffs Peter Oh. Aye, and they look badly drilled.
87 min: Bates fires a cross in from the left. Russell leaps to meet it at the edge of the area and sends his header arcing into the sky like Garryowen. The keeper waits for it to come down and drop into the basket made by his arms.
85 min: Muzhikov, second after arriving as a substitute for Zainutdinov, becomes the latest player to nip in front of McKenna to meet an incoming pass. His header lacks enough power to trouble Bain.
84 min: Merkel collects a pass from the goalkeeper in midfield, then looks around and sees no opponents is near him. He pauses to savour the scene and inhale the spring air before tapping the ball sideways to an equally free teammate. Scotland are embarrassing.
Scotland substitution: McNulty on, Forrest off.
Kazakhstan substitution: Akhemtov on, Yerlanov off.
78 min: Kuat and Yerlanov clash heads as they compete for an aerial ball, with no Scotland player even making a token challenge. “It’s 12:30am where I am and I must get up at 6am for work,” storms Steve Black. “Regardless, I’m cracking open another can and staying up to the bitter end just so I can BOO in furious silence at the TV so as not to wake a wife already angry at my stream of expletives. Eck must go after this.” You’re more feisty than any Scot on my screen, Steve.
76 min: Scotland are dispirited and clueless. There are more goals there for Kazakhstan if they want to go get ‘em. “Aye, the fabled Charlie Adam curse has been laid on the Scots as revenge for him not being selected,” quips Joshua Reynolds. In fairness, Adam would have been no less dynamic than the shower out there today.
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73 min: McTominay is pestered off the ball in midfield and then gives away a freekick. The home team are even fresher than Scottish players who’ve only been on the pitch for a couple of minutes.
71 min: A break in play so that Zanutidnov can receive treatment. Didn’t see what happened him, possibly an attack of the giggles. “Good afternoon,” begins Simon McMahon with blatant sarcasm. “Just in case you or any of your readers were wondering, for some years now the Scotland men’s football team have in fact been an art collective specialising in anarchy and nihilism. This is one of their great performances.”
Scotland substitution: McTominay on, by popular demand, and McGinn off.
Kazakhstan substitution: Turysbek on, Murtazyev off. Hurst. “Have they struck up their favourite chant of ‘We want oor money back!’ yet? Poond for poond, this could be the worst away trip in football history.” The cameras haven’t shown any of the Tartan Army but they have just picked out some locals brandishing a banner saying “Scott McTominay, I’m your biggest fan!” Jose Mourinho won’t like that.
65 min: The home team allow Scotland to knock it about uselessly in midfield. “It’s the pitch!” pleads Rob Coughlin. “What other explanation could it be from the Scottish perspective? It couldn’t be that they’re playing at half the pace of Kazakhstan.”
62 min: People say there are no easy game in international football any more but try telling that to Kazakhstan.
60 min: Andy Robertson is probably having a better time at the dentist than Scotland are having here.
Scotland substitution: Russell on, McBurnie off.
59 min: Burke is playing much farther in-field than he did in the first half, which is odd considering how dangerous he looked when raiding down the left flank. That’s the tactical tweak that Vorogovskiy would have wanted.
57 min: Palmer hoists a hopeful ball into the box. McBurnie meets it at the left-hand side of the box and sends a looping header towards Forrest, who, under pressure, tries to sidefoot a volley goalward from seven yards. But he doesn’t catch it right.
55 min: McBurnie, fighting for a breaking ball at the edge of the box, bundles it through to Armstrong, who takes it on the run and tries to shunt a low shot past the out-rushing keeper, who adjusts quickly to make a fine save. That’s the closest Scotland have come.
54 min: This game is bringing Fifa’s world rankings into further disrepute. Scotland, apparently, are 67 places higher than Kazakhstan
GOAL! Kazakhstan 3-0 Scotland (Zainutdinov 51)
Suyumbayev has all the time in the world to pick out a cross from the left. And he delivers a doozy to the back post. McKenna gets lost under it as Zainutdinov creeps in behind him to guide a lovey header into the far corner of the net! Is this a good time to remind you that Kazakhstan won zero of 10 matches during qualification for the last World Cup?
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50 min: Kazakhstan are by far the sharper and more zesty side. Scotland look plodsome in comparison.
48 min: Suyumbayev nips in front of McGinn to win the ball mid-way inside the Scottish half. Then he loses the run of himself and tries to rocket a shot into the net from nigh-on 30 yards. It takes off into the sky. Still, a sign of the confidence with which Kazakhstan are playing.
47 min: Early indications are that Scotland have made a slight tactical adjustment for this half, with Forrest and Burke playing a little closer to the central striker, McBurnie. Kazakhstan won none of their 10 matches during qualification for the 2018 World Cup
46 min: McLeish has made two personnel change during the break so it’s all down to the power of his words.
Massage your ears with a listen to this:
“If Scotland unearthed defenders named Hoof, Punt and Clatter, then, along with Shinnie, they’d at least have a back four to rival Brighton’s Bruno, Duffy, Dunk and Bong,” chortles Duncan Edwards.
Half-time: Kazakhstan 2-0 Scotland
During the break Alex McLeish needs to find a way to get his team to play the precise opposite to the way they played in the first half. Scotland were slow and dishevelled at the back as Kazakhstan helped themselves to two goals in the first ten minutes and have shown no sign of being able to retrieve that deficit. In fact, the increasingly confident hosts look the more dangerous. The only visiting player who has hinted at a threat is Burke, who has made several good runs down the left without finding a decisive delivery at the end.
43 min: Nope, Scotland’s latest bout of possession is no sharper than previous ones. They’re going nowhere with the ball.
41 min: Scotland survive that Kazakhstan attack. The hosts file back into their protective shape and Scotland show no sign of breaking them down. It’s been a while since they’ve been able to give Burke a run down the left. They’re looking very blunt at the minute.
40 min: The images are back! When we left, Scotland had a corner; we rejoin the action with Kazakh players streaming into the Scottish box as visiting defenders reel backwards in undignified fashion....
38 min: Sky Sports have lost the sound and pictures. A technical problem, I assume, rather than censorship of an alarming Scottish performance.
36 min: McGinn has a bash from 25 yards but it takes a nick off the head of Suyumbayev and whizzes high over the bar.
34 min: McGregor is taken out by Merkel, giving Scotland a freekick mid-way inside the Kazakh half. Armstrong drops it into the box. McGinn gets a head to it but can’t direct it on target.
31 min: Kazakhstan are increasingly confident. They’re getting some nifty passing going in the Scottish third. Scotland are looking short of ideas, other than trying to avoid conceding a third.
29 min: Just like before the second goal, Kuat is given far too much space just outside the box. This time, instead of passing, he opens fire. Bain pushes his swirling shot over the bar.
28 min: Armstrong does a Burke down the left and then produces a testing cross. The keeper gets a paw to it at the near post but only deflects it towards the penalty spot. Palmer arrives at speed and tries a shot but it’s way off target.
25 min: Burke flies past Vorogovskiy again but his cross lands in the wilderness. Must. Do. Better.
24 min: Palmer flings in a throw-in towards McBurnie, who, backing into the central defender, tries to lay it off to Forrester. But instead he sends it out of play. McBurnie has had no joy whatsoever so far out of Kazakhstan’s three centrebacks.
21 min: Palmer is caught by an ugly challenge wide on the right, giving McGregor a chance to send a freekick towards the penalty spot. It’s a useful delivery but Postnikov heads it clear.
20 min: Kazakhstan are happy to let Scotland have the ball in innocuous areas and then try to pinch it off them and rip forward on the counter. Every time they do so Scotland look chaotic at the back.
18 min: Scotland again makes gains through to the Armstrong-Burke passage, which Kazakhstan’s wingback, Vorovoskiy, is utterly unable to block. This time Burke has to make do with a corner.
17 min: Kazakhstan are ranked 117th in the world, whereas Scotland are .... Scotland, so perhaps we should have seen this scoreline coming. They’ve got a frightful capacity to make life difficult for themselves. Having said that, this diabolical start sets the scene for a heroic comeback. Plenty of time yet. Meanwhile, Kazakhstan are on the attack ...
15 min: Armstong tries to release Burke down the let again but Kazakhstan are wise to it this time and make the interception before it reaches the lad who’s emerging as Scotland’s dangerman.
13 min: For the second time time in the match Burke goes on the a good run down the left and pings in a decent cross. This time it’s cleared at the near post by a defender.
12 min: There really is no excuse for Scotland’s slackness for those goals. Credit to the hosts for two good passes and a pair of fine but the Scottish defence was all over the shop. And now Kazakhstan are buoyant. Scotland have a job on their hands to avoid further indignity, let alone to get back into this.
GOAL! Kazakhstan 2-0 Scotland (Vorogovskiy 10)
A bad start has just nosedived! Again Scotland’s defence is opened up far too easily, as Kuat has time and space to thread a fine pass behind Shinnie, who again looks lost. Vorogoskiy slides in to slot the ball into the net from eight yards.
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6 min: That’s a dreadful goal to concede. It came from a nice clipped pass from half-way that should never have caught out Scotland’s defence. But McKenna and Shinnie looked bewildered as Pertsukh ran beyond them and took down the pass with a lovely first touch and then cracked a super finish into the roof of the net from 16 yards. Oh Scotland!
GOAL! Kazakhstan 1-0 Scotland (Pertsukh 6)
Oh dear.
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4 min: Burke does very well down the left, playing a one-two with McBurnie and then dashing past the right-back towards the byline. He then aims a low pass towards the penalty spot but Kazakhstan clear.
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3 min: Scotland have made a strong start. They’re having all of the ball and trying to gain ground with it, passing with pace and purpose. The Kazakhs look like they were expecting that and are prepared to defend deep and look for opportunities to counter.
1 min: Scotland kick off. The stadium is not full but the home fans are making plenty of noise, although they can’t decide whether to boo Scotland’s passing or sing for their own team.
The pre-match singsong is complete so now we can advance to the football. The home team are dressed all in yellow, while Scotland sport navy blue. All is right with the world.
And here are a few things to keep your eye on during the international break ...
If you want to know a little more about football in Kazakhstan, here’s a piece from our archive ...
Teams: Kazakhstan v Scotland
Kazakhstan: Nepohodov, Yerlanov, Maliy, Postnikov, Vorogovskiy, Pertsukh, Kuat, Merkel, Suyumbayev, Murtazayev, Zainutdinov
Scotland: Bain, Palmer, Bates, McKenna, Shinnie, Armstrong, McGregor, McGinn, Forrest, McBurnie, Burke
Preamble
Scotland are on a roll. They’ve won three of their last four competitive matches - two against Israel and a swaggering triumph in Albania - and now they can dream about reaching their first major finals since 1998. They’ve already secured a playof spot thanks to their exploits in the Nations League but today begins their attempt to march straight into the final through the group stages. It’s a tricky path, to be sure, with Russia and Belgium in the way as well as Kazakhstan, who host Alex McLeish’s men today on an artificial pitch. But the Tartan Army can believe again! Can’t they?
