Seven years after the tragic suicide of designer Kate Spade, her best friend and business partner, Elyce Arons, is providing insight into the duo's 37-year-long friendship. A beloved industry icon, Kate's suicide rocked not only the fashion community but also pop culture as a whole. Testimony from her loved ones illustrates a charismatic, creative professional who carried pain and stigma in addition to the unexpected weight of fame. In her upcoming memoir, We Might Just Make It After All: My Best Friendship With Kate Spade, Elyce takes us back to her college years, where she met Kate upon arriving at university. Through cheeky, at times emotionally-charged memories, she reflects on Kate's life, legacy, and Elyce's own regrets.
An Unexpected Tragedy Leaves Loved Ones Devastated
Kate committed suicide by hanging on 5 June 2018 in her Manhattan apartment at age 55. She was found by her housekeeper at around 10:20 am, and had used a red scarf for the deed. In Elyce's memoir, which People obtained a preview of, she described the scene, four days after the incident:
'Katy usually left every light on 24⁄7 and kept her drapes tied open. Since her death, paparazzi had been stationed outside. For privacy, someone had closed the drapes and turned off the lights. [...] The usual bright, colorful room was dim and disheveled, so uncharacteristic of the tidy space I knew. Discarded paperwork from the medics who responded to Katy's housekeeper's 911 call lay strewn across the floor.'
Investigators found a note addressed to Kate's 13-year-old daughter, in which Kate assured her she was not to blame for the tragedy.
Kate's husband, Andy, released a statement shortly after her death, explaining that she'd 'suffered from depression and anxiety for many years.'
'She was actively seeking help and working closely with doctors to treat her disease, one that takes far too many lives,' Andy explained. 'We were in touch with her the night before and she sounded happy.'
Though Andy claims the couple spoke right before the incident, he admitted they had been separated for some time, adding a layer of mystery to the circumstances leading to Kate's death.
Andy Spade Speaks Out Regarding Long-Term Separation
Shortly after Kate's passing, Andy clarified that he had been living separately from the designer for 10 months. Despite the distance between them, he assured the public this arrangement was never meant to be permanent, emphasising: 'We were not legally separated, and never even discussed divorce. We were best friends, trying to work through our problems in the best way we knew how.'
'We were together for 35 years,' he added. 'We loved each other very much and simply needed a break.'
These are sentiments echoed in Elyce's new memoir, which states: 'They were trying to work things out – and they were always in each other's lives every day. They loved each other.'
Despite their distance from Kate–with Arons not having worked with her in two years and hers and Andy's separation– they agree that her suicide was completely unexpected.
'There was no indication and no warning that she would do this,' Andy said. 'It was a complete shock and it clearly wasn't her. There were personal demons she was battling.'
Kate's sister, on the other hand, believes she understands the condition that exacerbated–if not created–the designer's mental health challenges.
Undiagnosed And Untreated: What Kate's Sister Believes She Suffered From
According to Kate's older sister, Reta Saffo, Kate might have been living with an undiagnosed bipolar disorder, leading to mental health struggles. In a distressing turn of events, Saffo reports Kate was engrossed by Robin Williams' 2014 suicide, and asked Saffo to attend her funeral. Though Saffo claims she tried getting Kate help multiple times, the designer never accepted it.
In a candid email, Saffo stated: 'It finally took its toll on her. A very tragic and sad ending to the life of a very colorful and delightful being.'
However, a source close to the family denounced these claims, telling NBC News that Saffo evidently 'did not know [Kate] at all,' and that they were 'disgusted and saddened' by her comments. Kate's older brother added that Saffo and Kate only spoke 'sporadically,' calling her claims 'grossly inaccurate.'
Regardless of Kate's actual diagnosis, one thing is clear–Kate carried a lot of her pain alone, until it was too much to bear.
Acknowledging And Addressing Stigma: Elyce Takes On Activism
In her memoir, Elyce dives into Kate's introverted nature and habit of keeping painful truths secret, writing: 'She was such a private person in so many ways — that people didn't really know her.'
Much like Saffo, Elyce believes her friend might've been ashamed or unwilling to share the official name of her condition.
'She never shared with me that she was diagnosed with anything. I think it's stigma-related,' Elyce's memoir states. 'And because she was private, she probably felt that even more so. She would just use the word sad.'
To help others dealing with similar plights, Elyce recently announced a new line of Frances Valentine tote bags in support of the Hope for Depression Research Foundation.
'I love the organization because they are working on research and getting a diagnosis,' Elyce explained. 'I think bringing it to light is helpful instead of hiding it.'
Although grief does not follow a strict timeline, Elyce finds that she has made peace with her friend's 'incomprehensible choice.' Instead of spiralling about her death, Elyce finds comfort in remembering Kate as she was in life: feisty, funny and deeply kind.
Dormrooms And Dreams: The Start of Three-Decade-Long Partnerships
Elyce met Kate on move-in day at the University of Kansas in 1981, while they were both on scholarships and 'flat broke.' They quickly formed a connection through their shared love of vintage fashion and a common aspiration to succeed in New York City. In 1993, they launched the Kate Spade brand alongside Andy Spade and Pamela Bell.
It was a dream team from the get-go, with Kate focused on design, while Elyce took charge of marketing and business development. After selling the brand in 2006, the duo felt themselves growing apart. Hoping to work together again, they launched Frances Valentine in 2016.
Seven years after Kate's death, there's still a part of Elyce that cannot believe it.
'She had this sense of humour that could verge on the macabre,' she wrote. She would scare me half to death just for a laugh. There's a part of me that fleetingly hoped her suicide was her most elaborate, epic prank yet.'
Unable to change the past, Elyce now makes efforts to hold onto the present. Emphasising how she no longer takes the people she cares about for granted. She leaves audiences with one final, urgent piece of advice:
'As I tell my closest friends: go to your sister or your best girlfriends who's just like a sister to you. Go to her today and hug her so hard that it's like you won't ever let her go.'
In the aftermath of unimaginable loss, Elyce's memoir offers more than just catharsis—it offers a way for us to get to know Kate as she was outside of her darkest moment. Through nostalgic reflection and painful honesty, Elyce paints Kate not only as a dazzling creative force and hilarious friend but as a woman who bore her private suffering in silence. Telling Kate's story serves to break the silence around mental health and dismantle stigma. Hers is not just another case amid millions—it provides insight into how psychological struggles can be hidden and worsened under the pressures of fame. Elyce's memoir, which is sure to be a tearjerker, will go on sale on 17 June.
