Kate Ferdinand has revealed she has been sobbing with guilt over not being able to feed or change baby Cree.
Following a traumatic birth that ended in an emergency caesarean section, the new mum has been forced to take it easy as much as possible while her body recovers from the major abdominal surgery.
But Kate hasn't found this easy, saying that despite been filled with "overwhelming happiness" she has also been overwhelmed by "tears and emotions".
The 29-year-old explained on Instagram : "After having an emergency c section, and a bit of a traumatic birth I’ve been completely wiped out. The happiness has been overwhelming but so have the tears and emotions.
"I've felt like I can't do what I’m meant to be doing with Cree as I haven’t been able to change or feed him consistently which has had me feeling all types of guilt, for Cree, Rio & that I can’t be doing what I normally do for the kids. It’s a whirlwind I just wasn’t expecting ... but at the same time the most perfect whirlwind."
Along with her newborn, Kate has been a step-mother to husband Rio Ferdinand's three children Lorenz, 14, Tate, 12, and Tia, nine since the pair tied the knot in 2019.
Former Towie star Kate wrote: "Seeing the kids and him is literally what dreams are made of, feeling completely overwhelmed."
She said her stepchildren and footballer husband have done all they can to help her.
"Feeling so lucky to have my amazing husband and the kids helping me with everything.
"What an amazing end to a pretty rubbish year."
And despite her struggles Kate, who welcomed Cree earlier this month, said she was feeling "much better" now that she had in the first few days post-birth.
"This is a much better version of me than the last 10 days.
"To be standing up holding my bubba like this is a dream right now. When we are stripped of all the things we can normally do, the small things become extra special."
And Kate finished by sharing some advice for other first time mums-to-be.
"P.S. for anyone about to give birth, make sure you have a huge stock of big black knickers, the bigger the better," she joked, referencing her own outfit in the sweet photo of mother and child.
