Once again, the fantasies of Lost in Showbiz simply fail to keep pace with the reality of Kanye West.
Last week, you may recall, we celebrated the engagement of Mr West to Miss Kimberly Kardashian. Given that Kanye's proposal had involved the hiring out of an entire ballpark – and that the West-Kardashians may well be Earth's most maximalist couple – any speculation about what the wedding would involve was always going to tend toward the outlandish. There was talk of TV cliffhangers built into the marriage service itself, and I mentioned the Fortress of Solitude as a possible venue.
In fact, the plans for the big day look likely to far outstrip such pedestrian ideas. As Kanye put it to an interviewer this week: "Two words: fighter jets."
And you know, now he says it, it makes perfect sense. The phrase "military industrial complex" may have seemed fresh when Eisenhower deployed it back in the benighted age before gazillion-dollar globalised reality shows – but since the turn of millennium the words have been starting to look a little lonely.
What better time, then, to upgrade formally to the styling "celebrity military industrial complex", of which the Kimye nuptials will be the most shining example?
Lost in Showbiz trusts that Kanye will ensure the event features a turn by all the US air force's most state-of-the-art hardware, from an F-22 Raptor flypast to an awesome aerobatics show by those much-maligned unmanned aircraft. It is the only possible way to convey its galactic importance (plus it would be nice to see a US drone turn up at a wedding party with an invitation for once).
