Men frequently struggle with body image issues and according to experts, do so overwhelmingly in early adulthood. A 2021 BBC report indicates that 48 per cent of men aged 16-40 reported poor body image affecting their mental health.
Speaking on the Well Enough podcast, body confidence advocate and author of The Confidence Ritual, Jules Von Hep revealed how his own struggles with body dysmorphia affected every aspect of his life and how this led him to speak publicly about his experiences in a bid to help others.
“My body dysmorphia started in early teens and really shaped everything about who I was,” he told podcast host Emilie Lavinia.
“It shaped the lessons that I would go to, the parties that I would go to, the people that I was hanging it with. It held me back, it shattered my confidence and what I saw in front of the mirror, now I see was not reality. It felt like someone else was looking back at me and I placed so much blame on the shape of my body, on the texture of my skin, on how I thought I was within this life.
“That then lead to self harming, suicidal thoughts, moments in my life, and then eating disorders throughout my whole teens, it affected the people that I dated, the situations that I was in, jobs that I would or wouldn’t go for.
“At the age of 32 – I’m 39 now – I had this moment where I was launching my own beauty brand that was all about body confidence. [...] I was a spray tanner for 20 years and having worked with so much nudity I realised that the true glow comes from within. I decided to publicly go on a journey of publicly deciding to like and love who I was and it’s only since then that my life has shifted.”
Von Hep’s personal experiences in his teens and twenties inspired him to create a toolkit for others to use in times of crisis. His book, The Confidence Ritual, offers strategies for self acceptance that can be used by anyone.
Psychologist Dr Brendan J Dunlop who joined Von Hep on the podcast, explains that the issues Von Hep experienced aren’t uncommon and affect huge swathes of the UK population. Despite the body positivity movement taking off online, he explained that often, movements like this don’t cater to men and that young queer men in particular are some of the worst affected by body image issues.
“We know that the role of social media, peer influence, even elements of other parts of the media and generational narratives can all affect body confidence, body image and self esteem. There are a lot of related challenges that can come from that that aren’t always visible. Things like self harmful behaviours, eating difficulties and relationship problems and challenges. It’s incredibly common, unfortunately and it’s something that we don’t talk enough about.”
Von Hep agreed that social media has a part to play in maintaining rigid beauty standards and that until brands start to use a more diverse range of models, body dysmorphia in men isn’t likely to shift.
He said: “You go on any retailer and shop for men’s underwear and every model has the same body. I’ll tell you this for free, honey, my body doesn’t look like that. And I don’t think theirs does either. I’ve done a lot of men’s swimwear campaigns as a make up artist. Those boys have drunk a bottle of red wine the night before, dehydrated themselves and that’s how their muscles show. And someone’s gone in and bronzed and contoured everything, That used to be me, I used to contour them.
“Every male model looks the same. There is this resistance to swimming differently [...] This global look of one body, one shape, one ideal is everywhere and I think there needs to be more pushback from the people who work for these companies. Rather than being so focused on sales, being more focused on what their brand can communicate and how it can change society for the better.”
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The episode explored how despite so many men experiencing these issues, so few are willing to discuss feeling uncomfortable or unhappy about their bodies.
Dunlop explained: “The role that toxic masculinity plays in this is really prominent. I think there are narratives connected to femininity and womanliness and what that means that interplay here too. A lot of this, because we’re not talking about it, when it occurs, it feels really alien, really isolating. That sense of, ‘well it must just be something wrong with me’ is so strong, that of course people don’t talk about it.”
“Talking about it and being open and honest with yourself and people around you is half the battle,” says Von Hep. “Every body wobbles. As a spray tanner I’ve worked with every type of body you can imagine – with underwear, with no underwear, that was the norm. I’ve worked with Victoria’s Secret models, I’ve worked with Hollywood actors and actresses, you name it I’ve tanned it, and every single person that gets in the spray tan booth, whoever they are used to apologise for their body.”
“We are all conditioned to hate how we look. Having these wobbles is part of being human [...] society places so much worth on the aesthetic,” he adds.
The episode also covered the experiences of young boys in schools, the origin of male beauty standards, use of GLP-1s and steroids, what the future looks like for men’s mental health, good role models and strategies for feeling more confident and cultivating self esteem.
Listen to the episode here and watch the full episode on YouTube. Well Enough is available wherever you get your podcasts.
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