A man who spent 60 years wondering what happened to his best friend from primary school has told how the mystery has been solved - and they have now been reunited.
Michael Morrissey, (68) originally from Bansha, Co Tipperary was left devastated when his primary school friend - the boy he sat beside in class for three years - suddenly disappeared.
But his friend Tony Hayes never strayed far from his mind when in secondary school, or when he went to London at the age of 16 to work on the building sites, or when he was a prison officer in Portlaoise and in the subsequent years he has been retired.
Mr Morrissey, who now lives in Co Laois explained: “I can remember my first day attending Ballagh National School in 1960, which was only a short distance away from my home, a small farm homestead in the townland of Foxford, two miles from the village of Bansha, Co Tipperary.
“I was happy and excited to be in school and a new friend sitting beside me. He was Tony Hayes. There were four rows of classes, Lower infants, Senior infants, First and Second class in the same room.
“When school was over, we all walked home. It could take half an hour. Tony Hayes lived further up the road from me (at a place called) The Honey Pits so we would bid farewell and I would wait at our gate for him every morning. Tony was my new best friend.”
But three years later, in first class Mr Morrissey’s world fell apart when Tony did not turn up for the start of the new school year and he found himself sitting alone in the two-seater desk with no sign of his friend.
“He had just disappeared, and nobody noticed or spoke about him nor his siblings. Everything continued as normal. After a few days of my distress, I asked my mother if she knew what had happened to Tony and the Hayes Family,” said Mr Morrissey.
His mother sat him down at the kitchen table and told him that Tony’s parents had died, and that he had moved away to live with another family far away. He was not coming back, and she did not want it mentioned again. Mr Hayes was one of five siblings who were sent to different relations in Ireland to be reared.
“In those days you wouldn’t question your parents and of course there was no social media. Every night at 8pm the radio was switched off and you knelt at the chair where you sat and recited the rosary prayer as a family. It was said out loud by my mother and father and we all responded. At the end of the rosary my mother would always ask us to pray for our own special intention. I always prayed for my friend Tony Hayes wherever he was,” he said.
“Losing a childhood friend is a traumatic event. When you are a child, you are so sure that your friendships will last forever. Certain sets of people in your life form a special part of one’s identity. These groups of people shape one's likes and dislikes, our childhood friends form a bond that other people will never come close to.”
Mr Morrissey did his Leaving Cert in 1972 and went to London to work on construction as there was no work or Jobs in Ireland and very few went to college. Little did he know that his friend Tony was working on construction sites in London at the same time.
While in London he applied for a position with the gardai and was offered it but fate stepped in and Mr Morrissey who had also thought about joining the prison service was contacted by the Department of Justice to consider joining the Irish Prison Service due to a staff shortage. He joined in March 1976.
Despite spending 30 years as a prison officer and eventually retiring as an Assistant Chief Officer, Principal Tutor for the Irish Prison Service and a member of Irish institute of Training and Development, settling down, marrying and having children, the thoughts of trying to find his friend were never far from his mind.
“Many household names crossed my path in those many years while in Portlaoise such as Eddie Gallagher, Nicky Kelly, Dominic McGlinchey (Mad Dog), Dessie O Hare (Border fox), John Gilligan, and Christy Kinahan. During my career I locked up teachers, priests, gardai and politicians including five of my school mates. Five of the political prisoners have since been elected to the Dail as TD’s.
"But throughout my career I often thought of Tony and hoped that his name was not on any official records (that he was dead).”
Mr Morrissey admitted that despite always wanting to know where Tony was or what happened to him he was “afraid” to really find out in case his childhood friend had died. But when he retired he decided to keep up with social media.
“It was a whole new world. On many occasions I typed in Tony Hayes to search the world for him. No luck, many but not the one I wanted to find. During Covid I made a conscious decision that I would call my family, children, and grandchildren on certain days every week, with even an odd zoom call.”
One day recently Mr Morrissey was listening to Louise Morrissey, his first cousin, on Tipperary Mid-West Radio playing a request for her brother Norman who was recovering from a recent surgery. He decided to give Norman a call later that evening.
Mr Morrissey continued: “I had a great catch-up chat with Norman for over an hour. We laughed, cried, and reminisced about time past when we played on the Honey Pits near where the Hayes family lived. Norman was younger than me and had no recollection of the Hayes family whatsoever or their son Tony.
A week later Norman rang him back and to his surprise told Mr Morrissey he had been talking to his eldest sister Noreen and the topic of Tony Hayes and the Hayes family came up in conversation. Noreen had been “friend requested” by Essie Hayes, his lost friend Tony’s sister on Facebook two years previous.
“He sent me that all important phone number. I had a link to Tony Hayes' sister Essie, I was excited yet afraid. I made the call. Essie was delighted to hear from me and remembered me well. We linked up on Facebook and she told me Tony was alive and well but not on any social media links. My heart skipped a beat when I heard he was alive and well.
“Essie told me Tony was currently self - isolating in The Honey Pits Foxford, Bansha, Co. Tipperary. She gave me that all important phone number. The following day I nervously rang and spoke to my long-lost school classmate. Gone for over 60 years. I found my old friend.”
Mr Hayes has now retired too. After working in construction in London at the same time as Mr Morrissey, he subsequently moved to Bristol where he worked for the NHS.
“He has built a new house on, The Honey Pits, in Bansha, on the site where he and his family grew up. He had come home to finish off the build in December 2020 and got caught up in the Covid lockdown. He has stayed there and we’ve finally had our class reunion and we definitely will have many more in 2023”.
