The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen
The [00s MTV sketch show] Human Giant deserves more shine than it gets. My favourites are Mother & Son Moving Company and Let’s Go.
The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen
It’s a three-way duke-out between Arrested Development, Tim and Eric, and The Day Today.
The funniest meal I’ve ever eaten
There’s a staunchly Labour-leaning cafe near Finsbury Park that serves a kebab meal in the shape of Jeremy Corbyn’s face. Hummus nose, beard of tabbouleh; that sort of thing.
The funniest book I’ve ever read
Infinite Jest [by David Foster Wallace] made me laugh out loud on public transport many times.
The funniest word
Whatever it is that Jesy from Little Mix says in the video where she attempts a Jamaican accent.
The funniest film I’ve ever seen
Pootie Tang. It’s a Chris Rock Show spin-off about this ’hood Stanley Unwin figure who battles evil corporations with a magic belt. I haven’t watched it since I was 18, in case it turns out it’s actually a crock of toss.
The funniest joke I’ve ever heard
Teller: “Have you heard the one about the secret police?”
Tellee: “No …”
Teller: “[Slaps tellee’s face with a glove] LIAR!”
The funniest standup I’ve ever seen
Hans Teeuwen’s 2008 Edinburgh show made a deep and indelible impression. Strange, dangerous and just outstandingly silly.
The funniest heckle I’ve ever had
I once got dive-bombed by a bird on stage. It had been nesting in the rafters, and – in an act of mad avian seppuku – pelted towards me, veered at the last minute and smashed into the lighting technician. It’s hard to maintain the audience’s focus when an animal is actively trying to gore you.
Joseph Morpurgo: Hammerhead, part of Edinburgh preview season, Pleasance Theatre, N7, 23 June; Pleasance Courtyard, Edinburgh, 2 to 28 Aug
