José Reina

Peter Burch reckons police have rounded up five men who went missing on the night José's house was burgled. Photograph: Peter Burch/Public domain

"Shame José's home wasn't as secure as his goal during the Champions League semi-final," guffaws Michael Kilpatrick, who should explain his whereabouts on the night of the May 1. Photograph: José Reina/Public domain

"Don Pepe makes the robbers an offer they can't refuse," intones Mike Gershon ominously. Don't worry, we'll be off this subject soon. Photograph: Mike Gershon/Public domain

According to John Leonard, San José proves that it's not just Jesus that saves. Photograph: John Leonard/Public domain

"With the ability to send masses of Scousers into a frenzy, José Reina tequila would be a definite success." Tom Murray-Rust knocks back a cupful of Pepe. Photograph: Tom Murray-Rust /Public domain

OK, he might not have Johnny Cash's musical pedigree, but Corey Thompson reckons José pulled Liverpool out of a ring of fire. Sorry. Photograph: Corey Thompson/Public domain

"In a cunning ruse, José shrinks the goals while Chelsea aren't looking," cackles John O'Reilly. Photograph: John O'Reilly/Public domain

"Prince sang about doves crying, but Pepe made a Robben weep," says Ciaran Neeson, not too convincingly. Photograph: Ciaran Neeson/Public domain

Rob Moline thinks that Rafa took time out from Liverpool's penalty shoot-out to have a think about his summer signings. Hang on, where's Pepe? Photograph: Rob Moline/Public domain

"Well, he's got safe hands," giggles Rashmi Chavda. Photograph: Rashmi Chavda/Public domain

"I hate to Reina on Liverpool's Athens parade, but I doubt that even the mighty Peepee will be able to stop Kaka and co," says the pun-tastic Niel Butler. Photograph: Niel Butler/Public domain

John Barry reckons José's elevation to a minor Hindu deity may be behind his current success. Photograph: José Reina/Public domain

Is it just us or does José look like Michael Owen in Steve Curley's effort? Photograph: Steve Curley/Public domain