José Mourinho v Arsène Wenger | The Gallery

'Being a voyeur not always so rewarding …' snorts Cesar Souto, disturbingly Photograph: Photomontage

'CCTV coverage revealed the real culprit behind Wenger’s slip at Lime St Station,' howls Chris Allen. Photograph: Photomontage

'They may play a different tune but it certainly makes for an interesting battle,' toots Will Buckland. Photograph: Photomontage

'Arsène had a way of dealing with those adversaries who crossed the line with their verbal attacks,' reckons William Wilson. Photograph: Photomontage

'After eight unsuccessful attempts Wenger triumohs … over his zip (putting the little horse in its place in the process). Now for a trophy …' sniggers Tom Donaldson. Photograph: Photomontage

'What are you here for, old man?' 'Come ask leave boy alone.' 'What's the matter, the boy can't take care of his own problems?' 'One to one problem, yes. Just don't mention the silverware, too much ask anyone.' Ben Somner channels Karate Kid. Photograph: Photomontage

'What's that sound? Oh it's just the tail end of the season again,' barks Alun Hewinson. Photograph: Photomontage

'Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, José lacks a little dignity,' rhymes Richard Biggs Photograph: Photomontage

'I think we’ve heard it all before,' chortles Martin Myers. Photograph: Photomontage