It's hard to believe we're still talking about Ryan Lochte and his ridiculous bros, his three partners in slime.
Just when you thought Hope Solo locked up the "Ugly American" title for the 2016 Olympics in Rio last week, Lochte and fellow U.S. swimmers Gunnar Bentz, Jack Conger and Jimmy Feigen peed all over Rio's reputation.
The Rio Olympics should be remembered for Simone Biles' brilliance, Simone Manuel's historic gold medal, Michael Phelps' sustained excellence, Katie Ledecky's dominance and Usain Bolt's jets.
Those are just a fraction of the wonderful story lines of the 2016 Rio Games. Yet, the Lochte affair raged into its fifth day on Thursday.
At a point when most would have been too embarrassed to call attention to what happened early Sunday morning, Lochte claimed he had been robbed by local police officers.
Lochte embellished his story by telling NBC that he and his three pals were pulled over by local police, who showed them badges and then drew guns on them.
As if that part of the lie wasn't enough, Lochte even made himself out to be a tough guy by claiming that he didn't get on the ground with the other swimmers until an officer cocked a gun and pointed it at his forehead.
It should have been clear that something was fishy when even the U.S. Olympic Committee hedged its bet in the initial press release it sent out Sunday. The USOC began its statement with, "According to."
Many folks in America were quick to believe Lochte, buying into Rio's crime-ridden reputation. Lochte's claim brought great embarrassment to Brazilian and Rio authorities.
Lochte was the only one of his sullied quartet to realize it was a good idea to get out of town before the truth came out. For those of you who only pay attention to swimming every four years, it pays to remember that Lochte is a former reality show "star."
He had a reality show titled, "What Would Ryan Do?"
We know what Lochte would do. He would cause an international stir, play up the drama with an outlandish story in which he plays John Wayne and then skip town hours before Brazilian officials could start figuring out the truth.
Only in this story the hero leaves his pals to pay the price for his crimes.
Just two days before Lochte claimed that he and his pals were robbed at gunpoint, Solo had essentially sealed the "Ugly American" title when she called the Swedish women's national soccer team cowards.
"We played a bunch of cowards," Solo told reporters after the defending Olympic gold medalists and reigning Women's World Cup champions lost in penalty kicks. "The best team did not win today. I strongly, firmly believe that."
Solo has been embarrassing herself and alienating teammates on the women's team for years. She was branded an outcast nine years ago when she was sent home from the Women's World Cup after a postgame rant against a beloved teammate.
So it was no surprise when Solo's comments were greeted with quick rebukes throughout the soccer and Olympic communities.
Solo's ridiculous claims were par for the course for her. Sweden's tactics weren't cowardly. They were smart.
The same cannot be said for Lochte and his pals.
While Brazilian authorities investigated Lochte's claims, Lochte bolted from Brazil on Tuesday. Bentz, Conger and Feigen weren't so quick to exit the country.
By Wednesday, the alleged robbery became one of the biggest stories of the Olympics after a Brazilian judge issued an order demanding Lochte's and Feigen's passports.
By Thursday afternoon, reports surfaced that Brazilian officials had indicted Feigen and Lochte for filing false police reports. Fortunately for Lochte, he is safely in the U.S. The remaining trio weren't so lucky. Lochte's pals were left to answer to the Brazilian authorities as their story crumbled into an embarrassing farce.
Conger and Bentz attempted to exit the country Wednesday evening, but Brazilian officials detained them at the airport for questioning.
By Wednesday, video already had surfaced showing the four swimmers returning to the Olympic village with their wallets. It's almost as though they didn't realize there would be surveillance all over the place.
That video wasn't even the worst one, however. On Thursday another video surfaced showing the four swimmers at a local gas station, where they vandalized a bathroom.
They vandalized property and were forced to pay up by the security guards. Lochte, Bentz, Conger, Feigen are fortunate to have escaped that encounter relatively unscathed. They owe the people of Brazil an apology.
They should also apologize to the USOC and the IOC.
"No robbery was committed against these athletes," Brazil's Civil Police Chief Fernando Veloso said to the Associated Press. "They were not victims of the crimes they claimed."
Instead of victims, a good case can be made that Lochte, Bentz, Conger and Feigen committed a crime. If nothing else, they are guilty of living down to the "Ugly American" stereotype.
"Rio residents saw the name of their city sullied by this fantasy version," Veloso told AP. "It would be noble and worthy of them to apologize."
Lochte is far from noble. He, Bentz, Conger and Feigen should never be allowed to represent the U.S. again.
