John Terry

Mark Ireland wonders why JT didn't notice this sign above the door as he left Chelsea's dressing room in Moscow. Photograph: x

"I've just heard Fabio Capello is planning drastic action to stop the pitch getting waterlogged," parps Reuben Duffy. Photograph: x

Catherine Booth was bemused by Chelsea's training techniques ahead of the final. Photograph: x

David Prescott is already dreading the next round of autobiographies. "'I looked in horror and astonishment as I stepped on the banana peel and felt my foot begin to skid out of control' - John Terry remembers things in his own special way in The Slip." Photograph: x

John Barry really should have used a lower case 's' in 'shot', but we'll let him off because this is funny. Photograph: x

The other John Barry (there are two of them, apparently) has already patented a new line of warning signs Photograph: x

"Somehow more enjoyable when they melt," sniggers Del Boy. Photograph: x

Frank Streicher's effort is simple, but effective. Photograph: x

"Now that Abramovich is a big art fan, he should invest in a classic 'Crying Boy' painting," chortles Simon Coker. "17 million times cheaper than a Freud and infinitely more enjoyable." Photograph: x

José Eduardo de Carvalho has us wondering how many of these Crying Boy paintings there are on the market. Photograph: x

"If JT keeps sobbing at this rate, it's not the melting ice caps we'll have to worry about," guffaws Jacob Doherty. Photograph: x

John O'Reilly captured a tender moment between JT and Avram Grant. Photograph: x

"I was impressed by how perfectly the faces of Terry & Grant fitted those of hapless Dan Akroyd & the late, great John Belushi," notes Clem Halpin. "I was also struck by the fact that if you mix Grant and Belushi you get Van Morrison." Photograph: x

"I hope Terry's team-mates had a whip round to cheer him up after the game," honks Neil Pollock. Photograph: x

"I wonder if they found what they where looking for at the end of the red brick road," wonders Alex Berry in his caption, but frankly we preferred his email subject line: "John Terry. Oh, how I dislike him ..." Photograph: x