The funniest standup I’ve ever seen …
I do believe it was a sketch by the late Mike and Bernie Winters in the early 1970s. I can’t remember much about it, but it must have been funny because I slapped my thigh repeatedly, forgetting that I had a tangerine in my trouser pocket. I pummelled a good few of the segments into pulp and had juice running down my thigh – not a pleasant experience.
The funniest heckle I’ve ever had …
I knocked over my water bottle on stage once, exclaiming: “Oof, my water’s gone!” Someone shouted out: “I didn’t know you were having a baby, John?” Very funny, I realised, once my wife Mary had explained it to me.
The funniest meal I’ve ever eaten …
A tin of creamed mushrooms on top of a bed of boiled demerara sugar. The chef – a Mr Ken Worthington – had believed the sugar was couscous.
The funniest thing that shouldn’t be funny …
It’s surely someone slipping up on a banana skin? The trouble is, I’ve never actually witnessed it so I don’t know if it is funny. Maybe it isn’t. Maybe it would make me cry out in anguish or just tut in disgust.
The funniest word …
Tuna mayonnaise. It is two words but I trust it’s acceptable? It sounds ridiculous to me, and now the abbreviation “tuna mayo” is in common usage, how anyone could ever say “tuna mayonnaise” baffles me – they’re just wasting their breath!
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