John Shuttleworth, the chef from Sheffield.
I spent half of last week combining food and t'arts at the Bloomsbury. First up, Alex James, there, supposedly, to talk about his book and the heady Blur days, but much to my delight (and his interviewer, music journalist Miranda Sawyer's despair) he kept straying to the subject currently closest to his heart: cheese. Then Saturday night saw the venue pay another homage to food, this time in the form of John Shuttleworth's show: With My Condiments. John casts himself an older Jamie Oliver, and as such, has embarked on a nationwide mission to improve our dietary health, from one sheltered housing complex to the next.
There is, of course, nothing to get a crowd going more than a bit of food nostalgia, and Shuttleworth, an ex-security guard for a sweets factory in Rotheram, is the very man to indulge in it. Unsurprisingly, the audience love it when he starts in on the sweets, declaring mutiny on the Bounty (for taking away the wrapper's cardboard strip) with a new song. Vocals and the full range of keyboard effects play a big part in any Shuttleworth show, but happily, this one also incorporates some fine Shuttleworth dancing, frying pan mime and a rather lovely pinny (available, I'm sure, to buy).
Of the latest musical offerings, he's releasing 'I can't go back to savoury now' (I'm halfway through me pudding) as a single to download from his site (well, it worked for the Arctic Monkeys). As one YouTube viewer puts it: "Surely this is the number one John and his fans have been waiting for all these years?"
He's chosen the wrong track for the single though - the Times claim the best song of the four is Serial cereal eater. But they too, are wrong. The best song of all, without a shadow of a doubt is Two Margarines on the Go (it's a nightmare scenario), for its catchy Salsa beat, lyrical honesty, surprising bird calls and strained vocal style. Have a listen here and register your opinion below - I think it's a winner, I've listened to it around 18 times and I'm still not bored.
As well as the welcome musical interludes, the 'chef from Sheffield' asks pertinent questions such as how many Werthers Originals should you have in one day, counsels caution against modern dips (hummus, taramasalata), and dispenses pearls of wisdom as readily as he dips into his pocketful of Rennies. Plans to assemble a healthy meal on top of the keyboard are scuppered by regulations (bah, health and safety), and dinner-lady wife Mary doesn't turn up, so the cooking lesson doesn't work out. But what does work beautifully is a part where the audience contribute their secret recipes to be included in the show, and a forthcoming book. I tried to gain notoriety for a recipe from MissCay - stork slavered with strawberry jam - which she left on a post a couple of weeks ago, but it wasn't read out. I'm sure John would have loved it too.
Having so much in common with us here on the blog, John promises me he'll come on to Word of Mouth soon to reminisce with us about his favourite sweets or whatever gastronomic issue is most exercising him at the time. Let's just hope his busy tour schedule, hectic round of TV and radio appearances and inexorable journey to chart domination allows.
Watch the video for 'I Can't go Back to Savoury Now' on YouTube; to fully appreciate the Shuttleworth musical genius and to assure his chart success, download it here. There are some classic video clips here of John's tour around Shetland (some food-related, some not, but they're all good uns). If you want the full no-holds-barred live Shuttleworth culinary experience, catch his show in Manchester on Saturday, back in London on June 18 (selling out fast), or in Lerwick.
