Harold and Madge Bishop in possible cake-explosion mishap. Photograph: Fremantle Media
So "mystery canoeist" and news-maker du jour John Darwin didn't die in a tragic canoeing accident five years ago after all.
Did he, as his wife initially claimed, suffer a blow to the head while out at sea in his boat, and end up with amnesia? So far, so Bourne Identity. Meanwhile his wife sold up, moved to Panama and got stuck into the life insurance. As any widow might.
Now she's tearfully admitting that a photo taken in Panama - apparently on July 14 2006 - shows the pair of them in an apartment they had just rented.
This doesn't just sound like the outlandish plot from a fanciful soap opera - it is one! Fans of Neighbours will remember only too well the dreadful day that Harold and Madge Bishop were rent asunder by a jealous wave. As he stood on a rocky outcrop, admiring the view of the frothing surf below, the unfortunate cafe proprietor was swept into the brine leaving only his glasses behind.
Then he turned up in Ramsay Street, spookily, five years later, calling himself Ted and little realising he was indeed back in the bosom of his own cul-de-sac. As his memory returned he could only remember that he had been picked up by a trawler and taken to Tasmania where he convalesced with the Salvation Army. Praise be.
Now that Mr Darwin is safe and well (and in custody), once legal matters are concluded, those film companies eagerly digging out their cheque books might do better to check with Network 7, the makers of Neighbours, if it's OK to use their plot before they go making a film of Mr Darwin's life.
It's time that art/life mirror had a good clean again.
