John Crace's big bank holiday quiz

If you’ve been paying attention, this should be a walk in the park. Photograph: Stefan Rousseau/PA

1. What reason did the government give for not joining the EU procurement scheme on four separate occasions?

   1. Brussels had the wrong address so we never got the email

   2. We weren’t allowed to because we had left the EU

   3. All the European ventilators had the wrong plugs

2. In her evidence to the home affairs select committee, Priti Patel said the reason passengers weren’t tested on arrival at airports was that ...

   1. The UK had too many international air passengers

   2. The UK had too few international air passengers

   3. The UK had both too many and too few international air passengers

3. The communities secretary, Robert Jenrick, owns three homes, two of which are in London. Where is the third, which he visited in contravention of lockdown rules?

   1. Exmoor

   2. His constituency of Newark

   3. Herefordshire

4. What did the Daily Mail think VE Day stood for in its readers offer for a 75th-anniversary celebration coin?

   1. Victory in Europe

   2. Victory for Europe

   3. Victory over Europe

5. Who was visited by the police after breaking lockdown to go to Dover to make a video about his failure to find any illegal immigrants?

   1. Richard Tice

   2. John Redwood

   3. Nigel Farage

6. How many people in South Korea (population 52 million) have died from the coronavirus?

   1. 256

   2. 2,560

   3. 25,600

7. What did Donald Trump suggest people should think about using to help them beat coronavirus?

   1. Sunbed courses

   2. Chloroquine

   3. Antihistamines

8. What is France selling to help pay for its response to the coronavirus crisis?

   1. The Arc de Triomphe

   2. The wine cellar of the Élysée Palace

   3. Its national collection of antique furniture

9. How long do you get on a free Zoom conference call?

   1. 30 minutes

   2. 40 minutes

   3. 60 minutes

10. What was Boris Johnson doing when he took 10 days off in Chequers in February during the early days of the coronavirus pandemic?

    1. Recovering from his 10-day break to Mustique at the new year

    2. Sorting out his complicated private life

    3. Helping Carrie Symonds arrange a baby shower for her friends

11. What was the name of the two doctors who cared for Boris Johnson in St Thomas’, after whom he named his son?

    1. Imran

    2. Ranjit

    3. Nicholas

12. What aliases did the transport secretary, Grant Shapps, use for his second job as an internet marketeer when first elected as an MP?

    1. Maurice Blue and Archie Stoat

    2. Mostyn Orange and Torquil Beaver

    3. Michael Green and Sebastian Fox

13. How many coronavirus tests did Priti Patel tell a Downing Street press conference had been carried out?

    1. 300,034,974,000

    2. 3,000,349,740,000

    3. 30,034,974,000

14. Who is being lined up to take the blame for the inevitable public inquiry into the government’s handling of the pandemic?

    1. The EU

    2. Matt Hancock

    3. Meghan and Harry

15. How much will a mug featuring the coronavirus breakout star Chris Whitty cost you from the Chris Whitty Appreciation Society?

    1. £8

    2. £10

    3. £12

16. What did England's deputy chief medical officer, Jenny Harries, tell a Downing Street press conference in March that couples should do?

    1. Separate

    2. Stop being so needy

    3. Move in together

17. Banksy has donated a new artwork to Southampton general hospital. It depicts a boy holding up ...

    1. A testing kit

    2. A Boris action man

    3. A nurse doll

18. Where is Tom Cruise’s new film set to be shot?

    1. The International Space Station

    2. Richard Branson’s Necker Island

    3. The Nightingale hospital in London

19. What was Meghan reading to her son Archie in his first birthday video?

    1. Lights! Camera! Action!

    2. Duck! Rabbit!

    3. Duck! Never!

Solutions

1:A, 2:C, 3:C, 4:C, 5:C, 6:A, 7:B, 8:C, 9:B, 10:B, 11:C, 12:C, 13:A, 14:B, 15:B, 16:C, 17:C, 18:A, 19:B

Scores

1. 15 and above.

   Excellent: give yourself a round of applause

2. 11 and above.

   Well done: you seem to have been paying attention to the news

3. 7 and above.

   Not bad: you appear to have been trying to keep with events

4. 0 and above.

   Risible: were you trying to get the answers wrong?

5. 3 and above.

   Very poor: do you follow the news at all?

• This article was amended on 12 May 2020. One of the potential answers to question 7 was replaced to avoid confusion with the intended correct answer.