Joey Essex has opened up about struggling with depression while undergoing psychoanalysis to help talk about the death of his mother.
The TV personality’s mum Tina died by suicide in 2001 when Essex was 10 years old, with a new BBC Three documentary titled Joey Essex: Grief and Me seeing him look into the ways he dealt with her death.
Speaking to The Sunday Times, Essex said that he’d been struggling with depression and anxiety since beginning the intense course of psychoanalysis for the TV special, with side effects including sudden crying, panic attacks and flashbacks.
“You think, ‘This is TV, it’s a documentary, it’ll be a bit sad, la la la,’” he said, admitting that having psychoanalysis had affected him “really deep in my mind”.
“I was going, ‘I don’t know what it is…’ I was just crying. I think because I was finding it so hard.”
Essex said that he’d dealt with his mother’s death as a child by going into denial, believing that his mind “fused” after seeing the adults in his life crying.
“I snapped out of it like that, boom!” he recalled. “I went up and said, ‘Don’t cry, don’t cry,’ to the adults. And I went to my sister and said, ‘Stop crying. Why are you crying for?’ My dad said, ‘Let her cry.’ I thought, ‘No. Because Mum’s coming back.’”
Joey Essex: Grief and Me airs Thursday 3 June at 9pm on BBC Three.
If you are experiencing feelings of distress and isolation, or are struggling to cope, Samaritans offers support. You can speak to someone in confidence over the phone on 116 123 (UK and ROI), email jo@samaritans.org, or visit the Samaritans website here.
If you are based in the USA, and you or someone you know needs mental health assistance right now, call National Suicide Prevention Helpline on 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The Helpline is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
