Joey Barton

"Finally, completed this year's sticker album," chirrups Jim Stewart. "Barton's photo fits" Photograph: n/a

"After being shunned by Shearer and his Friends at Newcastle, Joey was forced to make his own spin-off series," titters Tony Hewitt Photograph: n/a

"It's Joey Carton!" Simple, but effective stuff from Luke Wallis Photograph: n/a

Martin Nicholson, meanwhile, gives us Joey Cartoon. "Suspension? Bah! You've turned into a right softie, Gnashearer," harrumphs our hero. "Prepare for a menacing!" Photograph: n/a

"Did Fat Sam really not learn his lesson about signing Joey the first time around," muses Andy Higham, following reports the midfielder is a target for Blackburn Photograph: n/a

Brian Corcoran would advise you not to talk to this particular taxi driver Photograph: n/a

"Joey couldn't quite put his finger on what he found familiar about next season's kit," sniggers John Paul Barry Photograph: n/a

Duncan Watt has already spotted a potential new career for Barton in the studio. On an aside - what is going through Mark Lawrenson's head in this picture? Photograph: n/a

"As a season ticket holder at St James's Park," writes Gary Beckwith, "I think I can speak for us all in saying we would rather have James Dean's good looking, rotten, bones, than Barton playing in our midfield" Photograph: n/a

Drew Wright would just like to remind you that Shearer himself was always fair in the tackle Photograph: n/a

Sam Allardyce is working on some 'experimental' training techniques for Barton at Blackburn, according to Mat Owen Photograph: n/a

Paul Berry suspects this one may go straight to DVD Photograph: n/a

"He knew he'd been misled. He knew he'd been shamed. One way or another, Joey was going to take this place down," parps Ruairi Hickson Photograph: n/a

"Preparations for Joey's disciplinary hearing are completed," chuckles Stephen Garman Photograph: n/a

Daniel Wallis thinks Joey's problems need to be sorted out the old fashioned way Photograph: n/a

"He always was one of those people who could start a fight in an empty room," sighs Thomas Nycz-Losi Photograph: n/a

Peter Miles's entry probably speaks for itself Photograph: n/a