PITTSBURGH — Let's get right to it, shall we?
The mission here was to create the greatest team in NFL history outside the Hall of Fame, one that could compete with the best conceivable team inside the Hall and crush the worst conceivable team inside the Hall (Bob Griese would be the quarterback of that team).
I succeeded. Profoundly, if I do say so myself.
Placing an emphasis on keister-kickers and unicorn athletes, I plucked players out of their primes, players who for one reason or another — injury, tragedy, voter ignorance — never made it to Canton.
Players who, on a given day, could line up with anybody, anytime, anywhere.
I got Bo Jackson circa 1989. You like that?
I got 1980 Lester Hayes to cover Jerry Rice.
I got Sean Taylor and Jack Tatum roaming my secondary, and Tony Boselli protecting my quarterback.
The team is composed of Hall-eligible players who've been rejected — who've been inspected, neglected and (not) selected, to borrow the words of the great Arlo Guthrie (who has a solid case for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, incidentally, even though he was a folk singer; I mean, Joan Baez got in). A player such as James Harrison cannot be on my team, because he is not yet HOF-eligible and therefore has not yet been rejected.
Kapeesh?
Off we go. And you best believe this: If I win the toss, I'm going defense first.
Because this is my defense ...
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DEFENSE
— Ends: Bubba Smith, L.C. Greenwood
The 6-foot-6 Greenwood was only the best rusher on the greatest defense of all-time (73.5 sacks, unofficially). Ask one of your Hall of Famers, Roger Staubach, about that. Greenwood sacked him four times in Super Bowl X. I'll let Dan Reeves handle Bubba, which nobody could when Bubba was of a mind to dominate. "You had to have several people block Bubba Smith," Reeves told beaumontenterprise.com. That's because ol' Bubba was bigger than a bus (6-foot-7, 250 pounds) and quicker than your average tight end. If he hadn't wrecked his knee running into a first-down marker, he'd have played longer, and he wouldn't be eligible for this team.
— Tackles: Gene "Big Daddy" Lipscomb, Jerome Brown
Big Daddy was 6-6, 306, and ran like a tailback. "He was widely perceived as a natural wonder, like the Painted Desert or the Devil's Anvil," wrote SI's William Nack. "He was, in fact, the prototype of the modern lineman, the first 300-pound Bunyan endowed not only with enormous power but also with the two qualities usually denied men of his size: agility and speed." Go see for yourself. Big Daddy died young, as did Brown, who was the best defensive tackle in the game for five years, a player Phil Simms once described this way to Bill Parcells: "I'm not saying he's Reggie White, but if he's not, he's his twin brother."
— Pass-rush specialist: Al "Bubba" Baker
Easiest selection on the team. Dude had 23 sacks as a rookie in 1978, which might stand as the NFL record if the league hadn't waited until 1982 to make sacks an official stat. The esteemed Rick Gosselin has made Baker's obvious HOF case many times. "In his first five seasons, Baker collected 75 1/2 sacks in 67 games," Gosselin wrote. "The only other player with that many sacks in his first five professional seasons was Reggie White — and 23 1/2 of his 75 1/2 came in the USFL."
Or look at it this way: The 6-6, 265-pound Baker (think my team is tall enough?) had 25 more sacks than Lawrence Taylor over each man's first five seasons.
— Outside linebackers: Wilbur Marshall, Greg Lloyd
Marshall was the L.C. Greenwood of the '85 Bears — an under-appreciated game-wrecker. He also was the epitome of a complete linebacker. Stuffed the run, covered the pass, hounded the quarterback. He even moved to the middle on third downs, replacing Mike Singletary. He was an all-time player (and Super Bowl champ) for two franchises — Chicago and Washington. And he regularly ruined people, as Joe Ferguson could attest. Lloyd isn't here just for his disposition. He was a spectacular player, one of five linebackers on the Steelers' 75th Anniversary Team.
— Middle linebacker: Randy Gradishar
Laughable he's not in Canton. One of the great tacklers in league history. Merlin Olsen called him one of the five greatest linebackers he ever saw. So excuse me while I pluck Gradishar from 1978, from the Orange Crush, when he was named NFL Defensive Player of the Year.
Is this legal? We haven't even gotten to the strength of the unit yet ...
— Cornerbacks: Lester Hayes, Louis Wright, Ken Riley
I almost feel guilty now. Wright's numbers aren't pretty, but that's because NOBODY THREW AT HIM. How is he a member of the 70s All-Decade Team but not the HOF? Riley's still fifth on the NFL's all-time interception list with 65, one ahead of Ed Reed. And he might have to be my slot guy. And Lester freakin' Hayes? Let me make this abundantly clear: I will put the 6-2 Hayes, in 1980, on anybody who ever played the game. He had 13 picks that year, second-most in league history. It wasn't the Stickum, either. He was legendary.
— Safeties: Sean Taylor, Jack Tatum
ESPN's Louis Riddick once said this of Taylor, who was murdered in his home at age 24: "Sean had more physical skills than Ed Reed. ... We're talking about true greatest-of-all-time status, which is what I truly believe he would have reached." As for Tatum, the tragic hit on Darryl Stingley remains the story of his career, but make no mistake, he was a talented and versatile free safety who picked off 37 passes in 10 seasons. There were many reasons Terry Bradshaw struggled so badly against Oakland in the playoffs (excepting that one throw in '72). Tatum was one of them.
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OFFENSE
— Quarterback: Randall Cunningham
Late in his career with the Vikings he led the league in touchdowns and passer rating. Early in his career with the Eagles he finished 10th in the league in rushing. New York Giants great Carl Banks told Jason Reid of The Athletic, "When they would say he was 'The Ultimate Weapon,' he was truly the ultimate weapon." Banks would know. This is him trying to tackle Cunningham. I feel very good about this pick. He's also my punter.
— Tailback: Bo Jackson
I feel even better about this pick. I have Bo Jackson at his very best.
— Fullback: Lorenzo Neal
Did I mention we're going to be physical? I now have the greatest blocking fullback of all-time. I can assure you he will have no fear meeting Dick Butkus or Jack Lambert at the point of contact.
— Third-down back: Roger Craig
First player in NFL history to record 1,000 yards rushing and receiving in the same season. The consummate winner. Is he seriously not in the Hall of Fame?
— Wide receivers: Sterling Sharpe, Hines Ward, Cliff Branch
Before his neck injury, Sharpe was a force the likes of which the NFL had rarely seen. In 1992, he made a record 108 catches. He made 112 the next year and achieved the rare receiving "triple crown" by leading the NFL in receptions, yards and receiving touchdowns (18; only Jerry Rice and Randy Moss have caught more). Former GM Ron Wolf called Sharp "a perfect football player." I'll enlist Hines to crack-back on the likes of Lawrence Taylor, looking to break some jaws, and don't forget this: In his postseason career (16 starts) he had 88 catches for 1,181 yards, 10 touchdowns and a Super Bowl MVP. I'll take him. Branch is the quintessential deep threat. No less an authority than Mel Blount once said of him, "He changed the way a game is played as a wide receiver. People started going out and looking for speed, and looking for guys like Cliff Branch."
— Tight end: Mark Bavaro
Laugh all you like. I'll simply hand the mic to Bill Belichick, who said this at the Super Bowl a few years ago of Bavaro: "He blocked Reggie White better than most tackles blocked him. That alone should put him in the Hall of Fame. This guy was a great football player." He also held his own with LT and Carl Banks in practice, Belichick said, so I might well have the greatest blocking tight end of all time, thank you.
— Tackles: Tony Boselli, Erik Williams
Really? I get these two? Might be the strongest position on the team. I watched every game Bruce Smith played for the Buffalo Bills, and I never saw anybody handle him like Boselli did one playoff afternoon at Rich Stadium. Williams, whose career also was heavily impacted by an automobile accident, might have been the greatest right tackle of all-time.
— Guards: Bob Kuechenberg, Bill Fralic
Just say this on the maniac that was Kuechenberg (perhaps the best lineman on the unbeaten '72 Dolphins): He had a 10-inch metal rod inserted into his broken forearm before Super Bowl VIII and still dominated future Hall of Famer Alan Page. The late Fralic, Pitt's very own, was one of the best run-blocking guards ever (just ask Gerald Riggs or Barry Sanders.) If he'd played on good teams with great quarterbacks — like, not the Falcons or Lions — he'd be in Canton.
— Center: Jay Hilgenberg
We don't need a sportswriter to stump for this man, who helped power the '85 Bears. We'll let the late, great Reggie White do that. White once told Dan Pompei the five greatest linemen he faced were Anthony Munoz, Jackie Slater, Ed White, Erik Williams and Jay Hilgenberg.
— Coach: George Seifert
Well, he has two more Super Bowl wins than HOFers Marv Levy, Bud Grant and George Allen combined (they have none), and twice as many as John Madden. That oughta count for something.
My kicker is probably Gary Anderson, my special teams ace is Steve Tasker, my return man is 2007 Josh Cribbs (2,312 total return yards, three touchdowns) and my opinion is that you can go ahead and put together any team you want.
I like my chances.
