You’ll struggle to find a more perfectly Irish political story than Timmy, Nialler and the phantom votes in the Dail –it’s a work of art.
Only in Ireland (or possibly one of the more relaxed South American democracies) would this happen.
And you can see exactly how it came about.
One of the lads wants to nip out for a few hours – sure you’d have the arse bored off you sitting in there all day.
So the other says no problem, bud, all you’d be doing is pushing an old button a few times anyhow.
So off Timmy goes and his Fianna Fail frontbench partner Niall Collins – current occupier of his family’s Dail Seat in west Limerick – helps his Clare neighbour out by making sure he “votes” when he’s not even in the Dail chamber.
In a way, it’s sort of admirable, the little favour with a bit of rule bending that most of us do all the time, it’s practically how the country works.
I’d lay money that there’s a hospital in Ireland somewhere where one of the X-ray guys fills in for the regular brain surgeon when he wants to get away early on a Friday. That’s if the operation’s not too complicated.
Where’s the harm in it lads?
It’s not as if Timmy’s in there to be thinking about whether legislation is good, bad or indifferent for the country, he’s just pushing a button along with the rest of the party as instructed.
The meeting with Micheal Martin where Timmy and Nialler were told they’d be taking a holiday from the Fianna Fail frontbench must have been like something out of the old D’Unbelieveables.
“Lads! What in the name of the divine baby Jesus were ye doing with the voting buttons? Sure ye can’t be doing dat!”
We’ve been awarding ourselves a lot of slaps on the back for our response – as a nation – to the Brexit lunacy across the water.
And it does seem that our politicians have done a fine, grown-up job in limiting the damage those eejits will do.
But it’s always good to be reminded that the politicians we choose haven’t changed a hell of a lot even as the world changes around them. It’s still a nod, a wink, a “sure where’s the harm, lads, they’re only rules” attitude.
Is that why – unlike the Brits– we have such a high opinion of the European Union.
Feck sovereignty – at the end of the day, we like the notion guys in Brussels and Berlin keeping an eye on our home-grown chancers in the Dail.
