Joe Cole

'Joe took no time at all to blend into his new surroundings,' chirps Matt Coaker
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'Joe the Lovable Cockney Costermonger was sure his barrow had had wheels when he first pitched up outside Anfield,' roars Rob Marriott
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'Come on Joe, take the red pill,' Matrixes Swagatam Banerjee, 'and we'll show you how deep the Gillett hole goes ...'
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Joe a mercenary? Surely not. This courtesy of Bert Ayers
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Here's more of the same from Oliver Stoyle
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Mark Byrne drags the theme to slightly more disturbing levels
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'At the gates of heaven, Roy persuades Joe to join the flock,' hallelujahs Jimmy Hussey
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'Having 'sold' the club to Coley, Gerro and Carra set about selling him a new look,' snorts Steven Jones
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Douglas Fenech also gives our Joe a northern welcome
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Jack McGinity reckons Joe's dainty little feet make him the fairy cross the Mersey. Boom boom
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'Joe plugs that hole that no one else can fill,' laughs Louis Heasman
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'Joe was touched that his new family waited patiently until he was free to join them,' chortles Brian Corcoran
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The reason for Tim Daly's EastEnders-inspired effort? 'I always thought Sammy Lee looked like Mo Slater and Joe Cole like Zammo ...'
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'Joe only went to Liverpool because he couldn't be bothered to make a bigger trophy cabinet,' sniggers Sid Holton
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'Harry stank of a jilted lover as he walked the streets of New York this week.' Joe Mackenzie gets marked down for his Photoshop skills but we appreciate the sentiment
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Don't Joe and Yossi look happy? This from David Stinton
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'Buried deep in the Cole, Roy finds a diamond in the rough,' cackles Kovid Mishra
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'Abandoned by his spoilt owners, Joe soon found a home with a kindly old man,' honks Ben Daly
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Tom Nycz-Losi sees the relationship in a far more sinister light
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'Joe and Stevie hope their honeymoon will last forever and ever.' Al Balmer we salute you
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