My mother, Joan Cooley, who has died aged 89, was a remarkable woman whose warmth and creativity touched many people’s lives. On her retirement from teaching she became a committed bereavement counsellor.
Born in Clapton, east London, into a Jewish family, Joan was the daughter of Lena (nee Lesser), a teacher, and Jack Weiner, a tailor. Joan won a scholarship to North London Collegiate school, leaving to pursue her interest in working with children. She got a job as a nursery assistant before doing teacher training at Goldsmiths College, where she thrived, gaining a first-class certificate.
She became friends with a fellow student, Mary Gordon, through whom she met Philip Cooley, a civil engineer, the twin brother of Mary’s husband, John. They married in 1948, a brave and painful decision since Philip was not of the Jewish faith. They lived initially with Philip’s parents in Norbury, south London, then moved with their three children, born between 1954 and 1958, to Balham, Surbiton, East Molesey, Taplow, in Buckinghamshire, and, finally, Wallingford, in Oxfordshire.
Joan’s career as a teacher blossomed and in 1973 she became a lecturer in nursery nursing at Acton and Chiswick Polytechnic, west London. She then taught at Langley College, Berkshire (1975-80), gave evening classes on parenting, and helped to set up a family support project in Berkshire (1982-85).
On retirement in 1985, Joan practised as a bereavement counsellor for Oxford Cruse. Realising that there was little attention paid to the needs of bereaved children, she set up training and supervision for colleagues, as well as undertaking direct work. This developed to include bereavement work with people with learning disabilities, and together with an artist friend, Frankie McGauran, Joan wrote an innovative bereavement pack called Talking Together About Death. Joan and Philip both undertook other voluntary work in the Oxford area.
In the mid 1950s, Joan had discovered the delights of pottery and she became an accomplished and highly individual ceramicist and, later, collage-maker, her home becoming crammed with her own objects, which she delighted in sharing with visitors.
Philip died in 2012, and Joan’s only sister, Phyllis, the following year. She is survived by her children, Sarah, Nancy and me, and her grandchildren, Helen, Tim, Robin, Rowan, Ella and Louise.
