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The Guardian - US
The Guardian - US
Entertainment
Guardian staff

Jimmy Kimmel: ‘The only faithful relationship Trump’s ever been in is with the National Enquirer’

Jimmy Kimmel: ‘Trump is drawing the biggest crowds of any president criminally indicted for having sex with a porn star in history.’
Jimmy Kimmel: ‘Trump is drawing the biggest crowds of any president criminally indicted for having sex with a porn star in history.’ Photograph: YouTube

Late-night hosts talked Donald Trump’s violation of another gag order during his criminal hush-money trial and witness testimony from the former National Enquirer publisher David Pecker.

Jimmy Kimmel

The ex-president “seems to be less popular each day, and he cannot deal with it”, said Jimmy Kimmel on Tuesday evening, noting how few supporters rallied outside the courthouse in Manhattan that day. “Donald Trump may be full of gas, but his supporters appear to be running out.”

Trump had been encouraging his fans to rally outside the courthouse, and is unhappy with the muted scene. “While you would think Donald Trump wouldn’t be able to lie about the size of a crowd that wasn’t there, think again,” Kimmel laughed.

On Truth Social, Trump falsely claimed that “thousands of people were turned away from the Courthouse” by “steel stanchions and police”.

“Trump is drawing the biggest crowds of any president criminally indicted for having sex with a porn star in history,” Kimmel gloated. “All Trump cares about is crowd size. One day he’ll be sitting in the electric chair bragging about all the people who showed up to watch it.”

During Tuesday’s court proceedings, Trump once again fell asleep. “Let-One-Rip van Winkle is dozing off so often they’re going to need one of those NBA sweat wiper kids to mop the drool puddles off his desk,” Kimmel joked.

And he also once again violated the judge’s gag order to not publicly talk about the case, a mere 20 minutes after his lawyer assured the judge that he was taking it seriously. “He violated the gag order during a hearing about whether he violated the gag order,” Kimmel mused.

The only witness on Tuesday was David Pecker, Trump’s friend and former publisher of the National Enquirer, who described a “mutually beneficial relationship” between the tabloid and Trump. “It’s weird, the only faithful relationship Trump’s ever been in is with the National Enquirer,” Kimmel said. “Think about how insane it is that our president had a mutually beneficial relationship with the National Enquirer. There are only two people on the planet who can say that: Donald Trump and Bigfoot.”

The Daily Show

On Tuesday, Pecker testified that to help Trump in the 2016 election, he would buy scandalous stories about him and bury them. “And what a great job he did,” Jordan Klepper deadpanned on The Daily Show. “I can’t think of a single Trump scandal.”

The guest host noted that before Pecker could testify, the court held a separate hearing to see if Trump violated the judge’s gag order barring him from publicly talking about the case or harassing its participants. Minutes after the hearing, Trump posted on Truth Social attacking the judge and calling it a “kangaroo court”.

“Wow, this guy is incapable of keeping his mouth shut for two minutes,” said Klepper. “Has Trump ever considered paying himself hush money? Think about it.”

“But this is a complicated issue about balancing rights,” he continued. “Basically, the prosecution’s argument is that a juror has the right to feel safe while serving on Donald Trump’s jury, while Donald Trump’s argument is that that juror lives at 34 West 52nd Street, and maybe someone should pay that juror a visit and straighten him out.”

On a more serious note, Klepper continued, Trump may have to pay up to $1,000 per violation. Which “is not going to get him to stop”, added fellow guest host Ronny Chieng. “You’ve got to deal with this like any other tantrum. You’ve got to give Trump an iPad with Cocomelon on it and let him zone out.”

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