Well even though he is tray sweary we are actually quite starting to love Jim Messina? As in (a) he is way more amusing than boring Mr Cobber, eg even his swearwords are more on trend, everyone is saying douche now instead of knob and (b) he is not actually leftwing at all, he only pretends when he is with Mr Obama so as not to hurt his feelings #bless (c) unlike Mr Cobber, he totally *gets* being British. As in, he flew over specially for the backbenchers’ overnighter in Chippy & obvs there was the usual mess & vom, plus this obscene picture of Oik #extremehilairness, even with everyone on best behaviour. Govey was like, I’m afraid you must think us frightful boors, Mr Messina was like, please don’t apologise old chaps, I have watched your Riot Club, prithee did you manage to find a decent prostitute?
Plus Mr Messina has scientifically proven that the average British person only thinks about politics for four minutes a week? Everyone was literally, who knew, Mr Messina was like, trust me, I have analysed your Archers, forget politics, this election will be won on cows and you have a great livestock story to tell! Everyone was cheering & stamping & booking holidays & shouting Fuck Rochester & Go Home Lynton you Total Douche.
Dave was like, incredible, even I think about politics for longer than that don’t I babes, I’m like, does this mean we can go to Ibiza? Mr Messina was like, and it gets better my good fellows, following lengthy drilling down into exclusive Daily Mail data I guarantee that if you mention Kim Kardashian in every tweet, the old Messina magic will do the rest. Dave’s like, wow, all that just from tweeting? Mr Messina was like, in sooth, I have never been beaten by “mad” Dave Axelrod and I am not starting now, based on my analysis of Stephen Fry the only thing the British care about is their smartphones. After cows and the Kardashians. Dave’s like, makes total sense to me, but aren’t you forgetting immigration? Mr Messina is like, so I go home, let you hire a traditional British loser? Dave’s like, only kidding. Mr Messina’s like, ha ha, old thing, you and your British sense of humour :)))
