A Jewish court has taken the unusual step of naming and shaming a man who is refusing his wife a religious divorce, inviting members of the community to shun him and urging synagogues to deny him entry.
The London beth din, the court of the chief rabbi, took out an advertisement in the Jewish Chronicle, naming and picturing John Abayahoudayan, who has refused to grant a religious divorce to his wife for the past 15 years.
The couple went through a civil divorce in 2002, but Rivka Abayahoudayan is unable to remarry in a synagogue without a “get” or Jewish bill of divorce.
The advert says: “We inform the public that the London beth din has informed the constituent synagogues of the United Synagogue that Mr John Abayahoudayan should be refused entry into any such synagogue.”
It goes on: “We invite people to consider whether it is appropriate for them to have social or business contacts with him until the get is given.”
Rivka Abayahoudayan told the Jewish Chronicle: “It has been a difficult 15 years. It has gone on for too long. He has to move on with his life, I want to move on with mine.” John Abayahoudayan has not commented on the advert.
The chief rabbi, Ephraim Mirvis, told the newspaper: “The beth din and I would like to send the strongest possible message that when individuals abuse the halachic [Jewish law] process in a way which causes deep emotional and personal pain and suffering, we will do everything in our power to try to stop that abuse and support those affected.”
According to Joanne Greenaway, a beth din caseworker, the advert was intended to send a strong message that refusal to grant a divorce was unacceptable.
Describing the case as an “abuse of the religious divorce system”, Greenaway told BBC Radio 4’s Sunday programme that Rivka Abayahoudayan could not “have a new family in Jewish law unless she has that Jewish divorce, which we call ‘the get’. So that can be truly devastating for her. It’s something that can impact on your life and prevent you from moving on.”
The advert, she said, was “not a step that we take lightly, and certainly we’ve tried many other things and we’ll always look at many different strategies”.
Not every woman would be prepared to be thrust in the spotlight in such a way, she added. “But in this case we felt it was crucial that we had to send a very strong message both to him, that it’s not tolerated, and we also hope it will serve as a deterrent for others. We felt we had no option in this case.”
The court had written to John Abayahoudayan to warn him about the advert, she said.
Jewish women who are denied a get are known as “agunot”, which means “chained wife”. The website GetYourGet urges Jewish women to share their stories so that “the emotional impact [of get refusal] on Jewish families” is better understood. “The more that the Rabbinic community is exposed to these stories, the more compelled they may be to develop further Halachic responses to Get refusal,” it says.
Ten years ago, the London beth din placed a similar advert criticising a man who had denied his wife a get, but without his picture or calling for action against him.
