Jesy Nelson has spoken out for the first time about her decision to leave Little Mix after she reached "breaking point" during a video shoot.
The 29-year-old singer quit the girl band in December after nine years, when she said in a statement that being part of the band had "taken a toll" on her mental health.
In a new interview with Cosmopolitan, she has opened up about the things that led up to her making the decision to say goodbye to her bandmates Jade Thirlwall, Leigh-Anne Pinnock and Perrie Edwards, who have continued as a trio.
Jesy explained how shooting a music video for the girl group's hit song Sweet Melody left her at "breaking point."
The star ended up suffering a panic attack on set because she did not like how she looked.
She told Cosmopolitan : "The last music video we did was the breaking point.
"We’d been in lockdown, and [that had been] the first time I could have a break and be at home around people that I love. It was the happiest I’d ever felt, and I didn’t realise that until I went back to work.
"I immediately became a different person. I had anxiety. Whenever we had a music video, I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to try and lose weight."
Jesy continued: "I have a fear of looking back on the camera. If I don’t like what I see, I find it so hard to be in front of the camera and feel amazing and perform.
"I’d been in lockdown, and I’d put on a bit of weight but I didn’t care. And [then] they said, "You’ve got a music video in a couple of weeks," and I just panicked. I went on this extreme diet, with bloody shakes, and tried to eat as little as possible.
"On the day of the Sweet Melody video I had a panic attack on set because I didn’t look how I wanted to look and I found it so hard to just be happy and enjoy myself. I looked at the other three and they were having the time of their life."
Jesy said there's a scene in the video that she's not in because she had been "sobbing in the dressing room" and she just wanted to go home.
She added: !For me, that was the pinnacle point. I was like, 'I need to start taking care of myself now, because this isn’t healthy'."
The star announced she was leaving the band on December 14, in a statement on her Instagram page.
In the statement she said: "The past nine years in Little Mix has been then most incredible time of my life.
"The truth is recently being in the band has really taken a toll on my mental health.
"I find the constant pressure of being in a girl group and living up to expectations very hard."
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