Jessie J said her devastating miscarriage put her life into perspective in a heartbreaking admission on social media.
The 33-year-old singer shared the sad news in a brave post on Instagram last month, as she revealed she had lost her baby just hours before she was due to take to the stage in Los Angeles.
The Domino hitmaker insisted she would still go ahead with the performance as she wanted to channel her grief into doing something she loved, but in a candid post uploaded on Thursday, Jessie confessed she regretted her decision.
Captioning two pictures from the gig, she told her 10.6 million followers that she reacted ‘in work mode’ when told the heartbreaking news she had lost her baby, and wanted them to understand she was still grieving.
“It’s safe to say I sometimes pour more energy into creating an unhealthy process of my own pain in front of a camera, than I do acknowledging it behind one in real time,” Jessie began.
“‘The show must go on’ mentality reacted before the human in me did,” she sadly added.
The British singer said she would be ‘a little off’ at her upcoming gig on Friday, and confessed she just wanted some comfort from a loved one after being told the news by doctors just a few weeks ago.
“Truth is, I just needed to f***ing cry and fall into someone’s arms and sob. But at the time I was alone. I hadn’t processed anything,” Jessie wrote.
“Nor did I have any idea what I was about to go through not just emotionally but physically after this show,” she added.
She said she now understands why women want to discuss their experience of miscarriage, and wants to share her own heartbreak in an effort to try and help others.
“I have never experienced physical pain and trauma or felt loneliness like it. This has changed me forever. In the most, heartbreaking, but beautiful way,” she admitted.
“It’s put life into perspective in a way nothing else ever has,” Jessie added.
The singer reached out to those who had suffered a miscarriage, and shared her own feelings as she tried to empathise with those in pain.
“I am so sorry if you have ever been through it alone or not, or are going through it right now at any stage of pregnancy,” she continued.
“Losing your baby is one of the worst feelings in the world. I ache for you,” Jessie said, as she sweetly offered to ‘hold’ those who were grieving.
“I guess I’m here to say to anyone who may not have been told this, you are allowed to be broken. You are allowed to cry. Allowed to be weak. Allowed to be exhausted from the pain and the bleeding and the grief that barely has space to exist,” she concluded her powerful post.
“We know there will be sunshine, but we can’t avoid the rain,” Jessie mused.
The Miscarriage Association (01924 200 799) miscarriageassociation.org.uk supports women affected by miscarriage, ectopic and molar pregnancies. If you’re worried about a loved one you can also call the helpline which is manned Monday to Friday, 9am-4pm, or email info@miscarriageassociation.org.uk
