The funniest standup I’ve ever seen …
Alfie Brown in his show Scissor. He has a bit about falling in love that is very, very funny.
The funniest film I’ve ever seen …
I don’t remember anything from any film I’ve ever seen. It’s a problem socially.
The funniest heckle I’ve ever had …
I have never had a heckle because people can sense my hyper-sensitivity. I would collapse and make them feel extremely guilty and they’d have to accompany me to A&E.
The funniest item of clothing I’ve ever owned …
Recently, a group of people walking down the street looked at me and just laughed at my outfit. All my clothes are ridiculous; I’m at peace with that now.
The funniest hairstyle I’ve ever had …
My hair is the longest it’s ever been right now. I look like Cousin Itt from The Addams Family. My plaits are strong and hurt people on the tube if I’m in a rush.
The funniest dream I’ve ever had …
I remember no dreams, only nightmares.
The funniest thing that shouldn’t be funny …
My three-year-old replacing every other word in songs with “poo” at playgroup and being told off way too sternly by the teacher.
The funniest word …
Sincere.
The funniest joke I’ve ever heard …
I can’t remember jokes. It’s a problem socially … and in my career!
Jessie Cave: Sunrise is at Soho Theatre, W1, to 1 December; and touring 24 February to 30 March
