Jessica Simpson has reflected on the public scrutiny that she faced over her weight in a newly unveiled journal entry from 2009.
In the journal entry, which was published as part of a newly released version of her memoir, Open Book, Simpson wrote that her “heart breaks because people say I’m fat,” with the singer also asking herself in the pages, published by People, why “the cruel opinion of this world gets to me”.
“Why does the cruel opinion of this world get to me?” the 40-year-old wrote at the time, shortly after a “mom jeans” outfit Simpson wore to a chili cook off became the subject of tabloid headlines. “Has it become about how many people read something and are encouraged to believe it. Last week, I read back on my journals from ‘99 and I beat myself up about how fat I am before I even gave the world a chance to.”
Elsewhere on the page, Simpson asked herself how frequently she thought about her body on a scale of one to 100 per cent of the day, with the singer answering her own question: “80 per cent. This isn’t fair. I could end up ruining everything with this self-doubt.”
The singer has previously spoken about the impact the scrutiny on her weight had on her self-esteem, telling Hoda Kotb during an interview on the Today show that the public response to the 2009 pictures of her “broke [her] heart”.
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“This picture that circulated and went worldwide broke my heart,” she said. “Not the picture necessarily, but the caption. Like, all the captions.”
The criticism and pressure also got to Simpson, who says that she spent “so many years beating myself up for an unrealistic body standard that made me feel like a failure all of the time”.
However, she has since realised that she is a “work in progress”, and now has the “tools to quiet those voices in my head when they speak up”.
Speaking to People, Simpson also praised the “wonderful movement for body positivity”, telling the outlet that she has received a response to her story that has been “overwhelmingly supportive”.
“I don’t think people always realised that there was a human being, a beating heart and working eyes with actual feelings behind those headlines and that words can hurt and stay with you for a lifetime,” she said.
