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Everybody Loves Your Money
Everybody Loves Your Money
Brandon Marcus

Jerk Alert: 10 Characteristics of Male and Female Jerks (Yes,You May Be Dating One)

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Ever walked away from a date feeling worse than when you arrived? Maybe the charm was surface-level, but something felt off underneath. Jerks don’t always announce themselves with red flags flapping in the wind. Sometimes, they smile, say all the right things, and still make you feel small, confused, or constantly second-guessing yourself.

Whether it’s a new flame or a long-term partner, it’s time to call out the behaviors that define both male and female jerks—before they mess with your peace.

1. They Make Everything About Themselves

A jerk’s favorite subject is always themselves, and they rarely miss a chance to redirect any conversation back to their life, opinions, or accomplishments. Emotional support is one-sided; your problems are boring to them unless they can use them to look like a hero. In relationships, this self-centeredness turns into a pattern of minimizing your needs and maximizing their own. Over time, it trains you to stop bringing things up because it never leads anywhere. If you constantly feel like a supporting actor in their personal movie, that’s a warning sign.

2. They Get Defensive Instead of Listening

When someone brings up a concern, a mature partner listens—even if it stings. A jerk, however, takes it as a personal attack and immediately flips into defensive mode, often turning the blame around. It’s not about resolution for them; it’s about winning the moment and avoiding accountability. This makes it impossible to resolve conflict because every conversation becomes a battlefield. If you’re walking on eggshells to avoid triggering this reaction, that’s emotional manipulation at play.

3. They Play Hot and Cold

One day they’re all in—affectionate, attentive, making promises—and the next, they’re cold, distant, or even cruel. This emotional whiplash is a classic jerk tactic to maintain control and keep you off balance. It keeps you chasing their approval, hoping the “good version” comes back. But the inconsistency isn’t a phase or mood—it’s a strategy. People who care about your well-being don’t leave you emotionally starving one day and love-bombing the next.

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4. They Don’t Respect Boundaries

When you say “no,” a jerk hears “try harder.” They see boundaries not as a sign of self-respect, but as challenges to overcome. Whether it’s pushing physical intimacy too fast or prying into private matters you’ve asked to keep off-limits, they don’t honor limits. In fact, they often act offended when told “not now” or “not ever.” Healthy relationships grow with mutual respect; jerks see it as a game of power.

5. They Constantly Criticize (Disguised as “Honesty”)

Jerks often hide their insults under the banner of “just being honest.” They comment on your looks, your choices, your ambitions—but it’s never uplifting or constructive. Over time, these micro-critiques wear down your self-esteem and make you doubt yourself. They might even accuse you of being “too sensitive” for reacting. But there’s a difference between honesty and cruelty, and jerks know exactly where the line is—they just choose to cross it.

6. They Make You Feel Guilty for Having Needs

Expressing a need—whether emotional, physical, or logistical—shouldn’t feel like you’re asking for too much. But jerks have a way of making their partner feel guilty or needy for expecting the bare minimum. They act burdened, exasperated, or even mock your requests. Over time, this teaches you to silence yourself to keep the peace. That’s not love—it’s a slow erasure of your voice.

7. They Flirt with Others to Make You Jealous

Some jerks use jealousy like a tool. They flirt in front of you, text exes behind your back, or make suggestive comments about others just to provoke a reaction. This isn’t accidental or thoughtless; it’s calculated. They want to see how much power they have over your emotions. A secure, respectful partner doesn’t need to play games to prove their desirability.

8. They Gaslight and Twist the Truth

A classic jerk move is denying things they clearly said or did, leaving their partner feeling confused or crazy. They rewrite history, accuse you of overreacting, and make you question your memory. This psychological manipulation is intentional—it keeps you uncertain, dependent, and easier to control. You end up apologizing for things you never did, just to restore peace. That’s not a communication issue; that’s abuse in disguise.

9. They Take But Rarely Give

Whether it’s time, energy, favors, or emotional labor, jerks are experts at taking without offering anything back. They expect constant support, patience, and accommodation—but when you need something, they’re nowhere to be found. They might claim they’re “just not good at emotional stuff” or “super busy,” but that excuse doesn’t hold up. Relationships require reciprocity, not just access. If everything flows in one direction, it’s not a partnership—it’s exploitation.

10. They Make You Feel Alone in the Relationship

The deepest sting of being with a jerk isn’t their actions—it’s the loneliness that grows beside them. You could be lying next to them and still feel isolated, misunderstood, or invisible. They don’t celebrate your wins, comfort your lows, or show up when it counts. This emotional abandonment makes you question your worth and settle for breadcrumbs. You deserve connection, not constant distance masked as independence.

Time to Check the Red Flags

If several of these traits feel familiar, it might be time to take a hard look at the relationship dynamic. Jerks don’t always wear obvious labels, but their patterns speak louder than their words. Emotional manipulation, boundary-pushing, and self-centeredness aren’t quirks—they’re dealbreakers. No one should feel belittled, confused, or erased in a relationship. If this article hit close to home, consider what you’re really getting from the connection—and what you may need to walk away from.

What did you think? Have you seen these traits in someone you’re dating—or used to date? Share your thoughts or experiences below. Someone else might need to hear them.

Read More

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9 Lost Manners That Are Making the World a Ruder Place

The post Jerk Alert: 10 Characteristics of Male and Female Jerks (Yes,You May Be Dating One) appeared first on Everybody Loves Your Money.

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