Jeremy Lion is the children's entertainer to end all children's entertainers - but not in a good way. Entrust your little darlings to him and they'll return traumatised and/or intoxicated. He sings, he dances, he prances around in animal costumes, but most of all he drinks: Special Brew, Buckfast, Amaretto, scotch, gin, vodka, Malibu ... every alcoholic beverage under the sun except Baileys, and that's only because he's lactose-intolerant. Just breathing near him is enough to make your head swim.
Somewhere in the middle of this awesome binge, between the incessant belching and the descent into coma, Lion (real name Justin Edwards) and his gormless assistant Leslie (George Cockerill) stage a shambolic play about a teddy bears' picnic, followed by an incoherent puppet show where the marionettes have been replaced by fast-emptying bottles. There's some bloody butchery, too, as stuffed toys suffer horrible fates, from scissors in the eyes to flaying and tanning.
It's enough to drive the audience to drink - but fortunately Lion is a generous host and hands out plentiful supplies of the hard stuff. Perhaps it's the liquor talking, but by the end of the show we all agree: he's our besht mate and we'll fight anyone who says different.
· Until August 29. Box office: 0131-556 6550.
