There is perfectly shocking news from Los Angeles, where Jennifer Aniston has made the wildly ill-advised decision to date outside her celebricaste.
According to reports - and the parents of her new gentleman caller - the Friends star is dating one Paul Sculfor, a former Essex bricklayer who now makes his living in the model-actor-whatever sector of the Californian economy.
Clearly, no good will come of this. Oh, the erstwhile Mrs Brad Pitt can enjoy her forbidden fun for now. But the second this unwelcome occupier is ejected from their midst, Hollywood townsfolk will shave Jennifer's head - yes, whichever Aniston hairstyle is currently being copied by the self-help book-reading community will lie in matted tresses on the floor - before parading her through the streets as a warning to other stars tempted to repeat her treacherous collaboration.
